495. - Zainab Johnson

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? Back on our bullshit, an overcast day in Los Angeles. Bullshit. We're still recovering from all the reporting of the Chloe Sevigny closet sale put on by a former guest and friend of the show, Liana. Oh, really? She curated that trunk show? I think Liana... That's a trunk festival, right? Well, there's no trunks involved. What I've decided, though, is that... Metaphorically speaking. As that Liana, Chloe, Mr. Mickey, there were some other people involved in the sale. I think... because this is the peak, that this means to all you Instagram girlies living in Greenpoint, Echo Park, Silver Lake, the sale is over. The sale is done. No more sales can happen. Chloe70 has done the sale to end sales. The trend must die. What do you think about that, Jason? Do you think that's fair? No. I mean, obviously, once the liquidation is complete, once all the liquid has been drained from the... closet balls then you would think that it's done but now it just enters its second phase of life in the afterlife on depop on the real real on well you know i'm going to put most of my stuff up on sotheby's i got some pretty high dollar pieces you have already sort of

guest bid on a couple of them already. You've kind of shown interest. I didn't know. This is just the first stage. I just, I thought, okay, I see what you're saying. So I thought maybe this could be the end of this terrible trend because this is the best it could ever be executed. The highest quality product, a living icon, the OG New York It Girl. But you're saying that this is merely a kickoff to an even longer... Yeah, put yourself in the shoes of other excellence. so let's say let's take for example the just like heaven festival wow what an amazing festival guess what happened it was so good let's do it next year you know okay chloe only has so many clothes obviously and she gets sent a lot of free stuff you and i get a lot of free stuff sent just imagine what her fucking uh you know her her closet in her guest bedroom is it's fucking crazy full of stuff so You know, I think of it as just like Coachella happens. Let's do Stagecoach. Let's do this one. Let's do the golf one. Okay, okay. That's a good equation and a good line to draw. And it'll keep growing, too. So next year, it'll be like, all right, Chloe Sevigny, she's headlining Saturday. Sunday, it's going to be Leighton Meester's opening. I mean, she's not going to headline, but Leighton will open. There's some good stuff in there. So we're going to get some – we're going to get – okay. So it can be some lower-tier editors from lesser publications. And we will allow women with under 15,000 followers and no blue check to participate as long as they have the right kind of slip dresses and shoes. The Chloe sunglasses have to be real. Okay. But yeah. I think looking at it in a music festival lens is smart and only something Them Jeans could bring to the table. Yeah. I mean, we all know that scaling a business, there's so many things. Not only is it difficult, but you have to sacrifice a lot. For the initial vision? Oh, yeah. And imagine scaling a business and planting two trees for every product you sold in the Brazilian rainforest. I mean, can you imagine how much that complicates things? But this is what we have to do. This is what we have to do. Three episodes of a podcast a week? You know, the list goes off. I don't want to say that I'm more of a hero than them, but whatever. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to say I'm a frontline worker, but you could say that. Yesterday, I was able to read Nomi Fry's...

Philip Pline profile, one of your favorite designers. Yeah, I have this article saved. Yeah, Philip Pline, he was the king when we went to Vegas and checked out the restaurant row of fashion. Philip had his stink all over it, didn't he? Big Philly style feels like the king of Las Vegas, even though he lives in Switzerland for tax purposes. But his house in L.A. is great. His house in L.A. is a mansion. But her story is so good because it's like this guy obviously has it figured out because he's just like, fuck it. All these fashion people are serious nerds. I just want to have fun and party with Tommy Lee and Snoop Dogg and make $100 million. And I respect him now after reading the story. What's the fear of God guy's name again? Jerry Lorenzo. Yeah, he's like if Jerry Lorenzo had fun. It's like if Jerry Lorenzo had ever done coke. But it feels like, of course, the clothes are obnoxious and aesthetically abusive to our eyes. But Philip knows it. Yeah, Philip knows it. Philip doesn't care. And I think that he also, his start, because he was scouted as a model and he worked in nightclubs. Well, same. I guess I should read this article. Go ahead. He had the idea to make a high-end dog bed, and that was his original million. That's how he got his original million. Wait, he had that idea, and it worked? Yeah, it worked. That's the whole thing. So the OG's been grinding for a while. Oh, okay. And I found the whole story. I found him to be kind of... more endearing than i thought because he's just kind of like yeah i don't know i just like to have fun and do this shit and get rich and like i don't care well and it's just refreshing chateau marmont bought my first line and that's kind of where things started taking off but i just i found him to be yeah i found him to be more of a charming character than anyone could ever imagine based on the

kind of hostility of his design sensibility. You know what I mean? So I was just, I don't know. It's definitely worth, I mean, because I think we're all aware of Philip Pline and it has this like stink on it because it looks like kind of like Von Dutch or whatever. It looks like, you know, like creative wreck high tops that Steve Aoki wore in 2008, but add like seven grand in Swarovski crystals to it. Yeah. And so, I mean, it's an obnoxious. shoe and like all of his clothes are but there is some there is an element of campy fun to it where it's just like yeah i'm awful i also fly private well yeah exactly i haven't been i haven't been on a commercial flight do you want to suck or not are you sucking or not but yeah are you sucking and also is you sucking yeah but yeah you pp that ain't my initials honey get the pp now And now that we have our in with friend of the show, Nomi Fry, it's only a matter of time until PP himself comes on the pod, right? Yeah, I mean, we got it, yeah. I was texting Nomi earlier, and she was at Via Corotta with Jonah Weiner and Issy Wood, and I'm just like, damn, I'm feeling extremely left out. That's a how-long-gone-Mount Rushmore lunch. Yeah, that's my take-me-back vacation selfie right there. Yeah, and De Niro was there as well, and I told her to say hi to Bobby Fry. me because i haven't seen him in a while so in the middle of his pacino de niro who was hotter in 1981 twitter discourse he's eating yeah he's eating pasta at noon uh with no me which is i mean where else where else can you unpack something like that i love you you got to get back to new york bro it sounds like it's really pumping right now but this mention of snoop dogg in this philip pleine article and snoop dogg also dj the chanel show i'm just is snoop dogg how on earth can snoop dogg DJ the Chanel show and also perform at Philip Pline's house in front of a sneaker the size of a car, but it's actually made of cake, which you'll read in the article. I'll tell you how. Chanel needs to fucking contact me for their talent booking and their, I don't know, their entertainment curation because we should not be booking Snoop. Philip Pline booking Snoop to DJ some mansion party? Makes sense. Yes. Perfect. 1,000% home run.

But, I mean, Chanel should have had Jenny from Blackpink acoustic unplugged set. She does a couple Bowie covers. You know, and then, wow, front page of WWD, Rory Satran's doing an expose on it. But a Snoop Dogg DJ set. I've seen him at a Levi's party doing that. This is Chanel, bitch. He'll do anything, and I respect it because he's just trying to get his money up, but the brands have to do better. He's also 60 years old and smoked himself goofy. He's like a grandpa. What's going on here? He'd be goofy. I also had time this morning to read Sam Hines' story on The Dare, which is a phenomenon. didn't really understand. Um, and something I also had kind of written off as just kind of LCD sound system. 15 years later, guy looks like Paul Weller, which is very, he looks very cool, which I respect. But then, but then I kind of, after reading the story, he was a substitute teacher, which is also sick. He was literally a substitute teacher. I think. that i've come around i don't need to listen to the music i don't care but i've come around and i think it's kind of cool that this guy is just kind of like having fun and doing his thing and it's kind of refreshing i never thought that he the dare would be white boy abbott elementary but here we are here we are but i was just like maybe i was thinking about this too hard and i also think that Dime Square as a construct, as a made-up construct by the New York Times. By Little Tobacco. I've come to the point where I'm glad that some hottie and his drum machine has been the guy to profit off of this. Somebody had to get a big record deal out of something like this. I'm glad that it happened. I'm glad that this guy's a millionaire from just kind of holding it down and being in the right place at the right time and having a couple songs. Yeah, if you guys don't take this check, I will. Yeah, yeah. Anyone want it? No, good. Okay, here we go. Yeah, it's just like it's the natural kind of progression of things where it's like, yeah, this was actually a meaningless scene of people smoking cigarettes and reading a newspaper near a restaurant that serves acai.

But the fact that a guy that lives in East Williamsburg looks like Paul Weller and made a song that sounds like LCD Sound System is the one getting rich off of it. It feels poetic to me. Yeah. I mean, but it kind of makes you wonder, you know, we're taking a band that's, you know, we're in the seventh wave of the bands. Yeah. And it really is very reminiscent of the, it's like the Strokes cosplay where you watch or you read, you know, what's your welcome to the bathroom? What's it called again? Meet me in the bathroom. Meet me in the bathroom. Sorry. Welcome to my bathroom. You know, you watch that and then it's like, man, remember that time when like, you know, the Strokes would play this little tiny venue in the village and all, you know, and they want to, they see it and it looks like an amazing pure time and we're kind of recreating it. Unfortunately, the music for me is a little more Beastie Boys than LCD, but it ain't bad. It feels very New York, though, which I think that we forget. It's very New York. But I think we forget that that is still extremely marketable in a global way. Yeah, I mean, if I was 21, I'd be all over it. I'm just too old and done to enjoy it. I just love that Home Sweet Home, that nasty dump, plays such a part in this story. And I just can't believe that that's the real star, is that that... place is is still uh is still pumping um and has never gone away so god bless new york god bless nightlife um yeah you know i but i yeah i just i was i've been i've been uh both of those stories were great and and fun to read i plan on listening to them as i do my little chores sometime in the next week i went to um osteria mozza last night okay okay and man been a while i tell you what bro that shit is smacking so good it's so fucking good and i i'm like why do i go to these new restaurants why to go to go to these obnoxious places where i can go to an expensive restaurant that is a seven minute drive away have a delicious meal that costs too much and leave satisfied you know what it's just it's it's it's a great institution and i just wanted to say that okay what was what was like an item that really just knocked your little dick loose uh

Well, first of all, was Nancy at the bar, at the mozzarella bar, touching tables or not so much? I didn't see Nancy. I thought she would come out and kind of kiss Al Wilmot's ring. But unfortunately, you know, Monday night she might be with the family. You guys want another Amaro? It's like from Italy. Well, I had an amazing, amazing sea bass. Delicious. Perfectly cooked. But obviously the mozzarella kind of tasting is the movement with multiple spreads, Calabrian chili, pesto, some nice, perfectly... done toast points um for for you know but it's just i guess what i saw the nanos used to make i just it was it's night and there the broth there's like a shaved brussels sprouts uh with almonds and mint that is yeah that is good like i could eat a pile of that like that that shit is a plus but yeah i don't know it was just this motherfucker got a brussels sprout salad and said i could eat that off a flip-flop I really could. Put that on the rainbow sandal, and I'm pulling out my fork. It ain't nothing. God damn it. But yeah, it was just delicious. And I was just like, damn, this is so good. And I haven't been here in a long time. And it's still absolutely packed. Every table is booming. So you're happy to get a win, is what you're saying? I'm happy to get a W. I mean, we've had some... Actually, we've had... Bedia in Philadelphia was great. Publican in Chicago was great. We've had some W's lately as far as the dining goes. I'm going to go hit Rafi's tonight with Oberg. You're touching. You're back in Glendale. You've got to let him know that the king is home. It feels so good to be back in Glendale. I went to the gym. I did an assault bike. I pumped it up. Let's go. I did a sauna, cold shower. I used somebody else's lotion. I was really feeling kind of out of sorts and a little stressed out or a little just something, and I didn't realize that all I needed to do was just kind of do a little reset and go to the gym and do my Glendale things, and now I'm good. Yeah, man. Honestly, that's all it takes. I need to wave at some local police officers just to set my mind right. I see local 12, I beep twice, and I wave. That's Jason's motto. Go Blue, keep it up.

Yeah, I did the same thing yesterday. I went to Backyard Bowls. I went to Paws for a little... You know, I had to get right with God. I just love that your West Hollywood sauna place is called Paws. It's almost like they did it on purpose. It's so good. It's too good. It's too good. And, you know, today we were able to announce something very exciting. We're going to the motherland. We're going to Australia. Yeah, we're going to Melbourne. And we do need to work on our accents because, unfortunately, our Australian is just New Zealand, or at least mine is. Yeah, I think I... And I'm mad enough to... admit that so i don't know i guess i need to do some type of do a lingar or something like that do a lingar uh yeah the 86 sunday october 29th at the thornbury theater in beautiful melbourne this is an exclusive we might go to we might go to sydney to do some shopping and dining but the only how long gone live experience will be in melbourne at this festival um thank you to emily for bringing us down and uh all the Frontier, Penny Drop. There's so many promoters involved. All the promoters in Melbourne had to kind of crack their piggy banks to get our flights. There's a lot of names on the flyer, but no, we're honestly very excited. It's a big... international move for how long gone um and i've i've never been to australia so i'm looking forward to flying 15 hours to just be back in la um but but but hopefully my third eye is cracked open once we once we hang out i think i think it'll be it'll be worth the 15 hour flight because it'll be like la but more your version of it They've taken all the parts of L.A., but just done it in their own way, and I think that Australian way is a little more up your alley. Okay, great. And I can't wait to do some press on Triple J, my dream, do a little morning radio. That's the only reason I'm going. Which I've done before, so that's my privilege, and I hope that you get to experience that as well. We put some stuff from the spring tour on the How Long Gone web store experience. Thank you.

To Sam Jane for whipping those up. The summer goth, how long gone, black stitching on navy blue hat. A Chris favorite to celebrate the cure going on tour is moving like hotcakes. So get that now. For those who know. For those who know. And also, in personal news, Liz Phair is going on tour, Jason. 30th anniversary of Exile in Guyville. How is that personal? Well, because I'm excited about it. It's a personal interest piece? Yeah, it's a personal interest. It's not affecting you personally other than you like it? Other than I like it. And actually, Blonde Shell, who is on How Long Gone, it's opening, which is a big look for her. Oh, yeah. So we're going to have to catch a couple of those, TJ. That might be a multi-city thing. LA, New York minimum. Yeah, I want you to experience it with me because I think you need to see me. Well, I'll experience one show with you, but... But I think any more than that is not fair. I'm going to see Polichek and Ethel Kane at Radio City in New York on Saturday. And I've been told by people in the Polichek camp that the crowd is guaranteed to be better looking. So that's good. I'm glad that they know. They already know for certain. We've already checked out a lot of their LinkedIn profiles. By and large, they are hotter. Yeah, we don't ask you to send a headshot. We make you send a LinkedIn with your ticket request. You know, speaking of that show, I saw somebody tweet saying, like, I just saw that Ethel Kane is playing with Caroline Polachek on the same night in New York as Muna. Yeah. And whoever decided this is making it. uh really hard for a certain type of person in town kind of thing saying like you know for the lesbian community i'm assuming that's what that means right i would assume but to me it feels like an absolute no-brainer because i saw moona play once and it was like it's like disney channel music or something like that right it's like that's not real right it's insane they're huge though i mean they open for taylor swift I mean, it's crazy. It's like music that they play at Target or something. It's not like real stuff. In Target, in Ridgewood, maybe. We do have a guest today. We do have a guest today, and I'm excited. I've been a fan for a while. Zaynab Johnson is a comedian, actor, and writer from Harlem. You may have seen her on, I think she was on Last Comic Standing, actually. She's probably been on a bunch of stuff. She's been on a bunch of stuff. She's on a show called Upload.

on Amazon as well. I followed her a while ago and then DMed her to come on the show and she never opened it. And then I guess like a fan... said she should go i don't even know how like a fan was like you should go on and yeah it's it's uh it's somebody who listens to the show a girl named diana she she was like hey you should get this this comedian on their podcast i think she's really funny i've seen her she's dope and i was like yeah she's funny let's check it out and i i sent her to you you sent a dm didn't open it and then She sent like a follow up, whatever, six months later. And she was like, oh, fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't open it. And then boom, booked it. And here we go. It's beautiful. This is how this is how it gets. But that's why that's why you and her have a lot in common. You both are kind of like, I don't really need to open this DM, you know? Yeah. All right. Let's let's give let's give Zainab a jingle. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional.

as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung, TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf. TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs.

handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app. using promo code howlong. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. What's going on? How are you? First of all, is this natural lighting? Where are you located? I'm in my office right now, and there's a big door right in front of me with a bunch of sunlight coming in. Yeah, this looks great. I got to say, you're really, yeah. Thank you. Maybe the best we've ever seen anyone look on this podcast. It's really the right time of day for you. It's really hitting. No ring light at all, Zaynab? You sure? There's a ring light in here. No, no, no. But the ring light is very – But it's not on. No, no, no. The ring light is on, but the ring light is right next to the door. Okay, okay. So the ring light is not doing anything. Like it's – I mean the sun is – this gets like the best light. I need to relocate because people say sometimes I look like I'm in jail. Yeah, you do. But is that my look or is that my setting or is it unfortunately a combination of both? Now that you say it could be your look, it definitely could be a combination of both. But you know what, too? If I was on my MacBook, this would not look as good. Right now, I'm on an iMac. And so even the camera is bad. You know what I'm saying? iMac has a good camera. You've set yourself up for success, is what you're saying. You know. Okay.

Okay, so you do a lot of on-camera stuff, so you've kind of done the work and understand what you need to do to succeed. Well, first of all, I don't have on any makeup, not even a mascara, and I had two braids in my hair, and right before I logged on, I just took the two braids out because I was like... I'm not sure if they're going to post anything from this. And there's been so many podcasts where I think I'm just coming on and it's just going to be audio. And then they want to post a whole bunch of clips. I got a towel around my head. First of all, we would never do that to you. We respect our guests too much. We're audio only. We're old school. We are leaving a substantial amount of money on the table, but it's going to pay off later. So it's fine. So don't worry about it. You look great. And why did you? Thank you. What was wrong with the braid? Did you just feel like you were ready for a change? Or why did you take them out? Like, what's the issue? I think maybe you're sleeping them. No, it was just, it was just two, yeah, it was just two braids. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Like Pippi Longstock and braids. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I would have much preferred to leave. leave that because it's like after this i'm gonna go to pilates i gotta put the braid back in you know what i'm saying but i do know what you're saying but my nothing i don't have on any makeup i'm not like dressed up so just like a little bit of jewish hair just you know it gives a little something yeah no we want to we always want to give a little something Jason's camera's off because we often record this podcast shirtless, but with certain guests, it doesn't feel as appropriate. So, Jason, thank you for kind of keeping the bird covered today. Yeah, it's shirtless in a bad way, not a good way. Or he could have just put a shirt on, right? Yo, chill, chill, chill, chill. Yeah, why you got to bring that up? What kind of Pilates are we doing? Are there different types of Pilates? I'm doing Reformer Pilates with the machine. Yeah, okay. Yeah, there's Matt Pilates. There's different varietals. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I do private lessons twice a week with a lovely instructor, but, yeah, she uses the Reformer. Must be nice. I didn't know stand-up paid like that, Jason. I don't know about you, but private. So is this private in someone's house, or is this private like in a gym, or how private are we going here? It's private. It's in her studio.

Um, and she, she has a studio and she can only see one client at a time. The studio is, I don't know, it's in Westwood. Like, so it's a business, a storefront, like a brick and mortar. And she has everything set up. Like she has a stretching table. Cause she also offers, um, like the stretch, you know, you can get it. I like that. I like that. Oh, I did it. I did it last week. And it's just like an hour of her stretching you. And I thought it was going to be relaxing like a massage. It was. No, hell no. Uh-uh. No, that shit's serious. That shit is serious. Yeah. It's really like breath work is important. So what is your, because Jason and I argue about this a lot because I'm a big, obviously you can tell, I'm sure, but I lift a lot of weights. And Jason is more of a mobility guy. And I just, you know, I wanted to know. Why are you laughing at mobility? What the fuck? If the stretching was that painful for you, I just want to know where your mobility is at. Do you have any problem areas you'd want to discuss with us as far as mobility goes? First of all, Jason, I'm laughing because he said I can tell he's short. Are you short? No, I was saying I'm muscular. I'm actually 6'4". Oh, okay. I'm like, I can't tell your height at all. He said sure, S-H-U-R-E instead of short. But I also clocked it as a short as well, just for the record. He's tall. He's long. He's grown. But yeah, he's all muffled. He's like a car that's all engine, but the tires are flat. And I change my tires every week, but the engine game is weak. So that's kind of our duality. And it looks like you're somewhere in the middle. Like I have really strong heart and lungs, right? Like I don't anymore, but I used to be able to like run like eight miles a day. I would just do that in the morning just like for fun. Okay. Now I'm like down to maybe like four to five miles. maybe five times a week damn okay we have a we have a still quite impressive yeah i'm i'm impressed also i will say it's rare to hear somebody say i have a really strong heart and not and and say it in a in the physical form not like in the emotional sense you know what i mean yeah i mean emotionally it's pretty rock hard as well but okay oh okay she said she said my heart's bricked up emotion game swole no i mean

I don't know if you guys know anything about signs. I don't. So I don't know why I'm going to say this, but like I'm an Aries and I think Aries are typically known to be like, you know what I'm saying? We're known to be stubborn, strong. Like I'm very logical. Like I don't let somebody told me that like years ago, they were like, you got to let the heart do its work. Like you keep trying to allow the brain to do the work of the heart and you got to let the heart do its work. So. I'm pretty, you know, anyway, I think I'm pretty sure. But it's like I could just like jump for hours. But like it takes me a while like to. Like I could do probably like 10 regular pushups now, but it takes me a while to build up to to get stronger. And at first I was like weight training and stuff like that. But sometimes you work out with people and you you get stronger. But then you I'm tall as well. I'm five eleven. And so I don't really want to I don't I don't want to get the physique where people are like, oh, you play ball like I don't want that. You don't have volleyball shoulders. I get it. Yeah, you know, I think that's fine if you do. It's fine. It's fine. It's totally cool. My girlfriend, she does a lot of yoga and Pilates as well, and she... tries to to limit the amount of pilates she does because she sort of has a fear of getting a little too much of a muscular build from the pilates that's not something that you've noticed or been worried about so no like i'm not to put her on blast no no it's fine like i i feel like i'm getting stronger uh with the pilates like definitely but it's not in the way like like my arms can get like really buff like really fast like really fast like so So you got like Madonna in the 90s arms, but you don't have like China the wrestler arms is what you're saying. No, but I can get China the wrestler arms if I want. You want China arms? It's on. It's no problem. I don't. I don't. But I realize with Pilates, like when I, you know, the older I get as I like run and stuff like that, I'll realize like, oh, my hips are hurting. You know, like I've had, I have like.

Like I do have some mobility issues and things like that. And like I'll compensate in certain parts of my body and I'll feel it. You know, you feel it with especially like in your knees and physical activities. But I find now that I've been doing Pilates and it hasn't been that long, I'm going into like the second month of it. You already feel you already feel some improvements. Yeah, I'm not having any pain. Like I'm not having posture. I'm not having back pain. Like that's the thing that I'm noticing more than like. just like a severe change in like my physical aesthetic. You're able to just be walking around feeling good versus like, yeah, I had a great workout, but I'm, I fucking can't walk for shit. I can't sit up off the toilet very easily, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Well, after you, after you kill it at Pilates and you put in the work, do you, are you the type of person who's like, now it's time to have a smoothie? and then post up or is it like now i've unlocked the ability to eat whatever the fuck i want i'm gonna go in right now um i don't know if i'm like a smoothie person after like a pilates thing but i think it just depends on my day but like if i'm feeling hungry then i'm definitely gonna eat but i don't feel like after It's like defeats the whole point of a workout if you're just going to work out and then just go crate, go to town eating. Like that is counterproductive as fuck. Yeah, but if you love eating, then you got to figure out a way to eat and maintain the physique though, you know? I do love eating. Doesn't sound like it. That's all I'm saying, you know? No, I do. No, there's like and there's love. No, no, no. Where do you live? Where do you live in L.A.? You're in L.A.? You're in L.A.? Yeah, I live in L.A. High Wings Cafe. We doing a 12, 24, 36, 48. What's up? I don't eat chicken. Sorry. Okay. Are you a pescatarian? Yeah, you could say I'm a non-dairy pescatarian, but I eat mostly vegan, but I will eat fish sometimes. Okay. If it's from a good source, healthily cooked. If you catch it yourself, I'm sure. I do know how to catch fish, but no, I'm not catching fish. What do you mean you know how to catch fish? You're lying. How do you know how to catch fish? What do you mean? I was a kid once that went fishing often. I know how to catch fish. Often? Often. Yes, there's things.

There's things called lakes and freaking summer camps. Yeah, absolutely. Chris is the one who grew up in Georgia. I grew up in Southern California. I fished every day as a kid as well. Chris, it sounds like you're the problem here. I grew up in New York City, but my parents knew how to get us out the house. Okay, wow. Congratulations. You know how to fish. A lot of New York City parents... Don't, though, at the same time. You're just a little badass kid, and your parents need to get rid of you, so you went to go learn how to fish? First of all, I am one of 13. I'm in the middle. I'm the fifth kid. I couldn't even afford to be bad. But... Damn, I can't afford to be bad. I like that. My father just liked... We did what my parents liked, and my father is like... Like my mom, she would have us... If we weren't in school, she would have us in Central Park all day, every day. Beautiful. You know, in the park, in the park, there's like lakes. You could be on a boat and you can actually fish. But then they also sent us away to like summer camps. Like I used to go, I don't know if you guys have ever heard of this, but it's called Fresh Air Fun. And what they do. Yeah, yeah. They take little black and Spanish kids out, like the quote-unquote hood, and they send us to white families for the summer. So I did that for a couple of summers when I was a kid. Did you meet any cool white people that way, or was it more experiences? No, I met a lot of cool white people. I love my white family. So you would literally just go live in a random family's house for the whole summer? Well, they were only random the first time. It was only random the first time. Oh, so it repeated every year. It wasn't a one-summer stand. No. You kept going. You had return clients. You were able to go rounds year after year. Yeah, it's the same family. I went for two weeks the first summer, the second summer, four weeks, the summer after that. I did that from like... From the age of like 10 to 14 or something like that. Okay, hold on. What are these people? All right, so where and what were these people into? Because this seems like a little, you know, I don't know. This is a little weird to me. I have to be honest. It sounds weird, but it really was like a good experience. They were in Vermont. Okay, so that's like as white as you can go. Vermont is top white stuff. We're talking Vermont white.

So now you understand when I say I fish, I can fish. What else did you learn to do? Like snowboard? What other like white activities? Not snowboard because I was only there in the summer. Okay, sure, sure, sure. You know, I was actually thinking back on it the other day and I'm like, I did my life as a kid is so different now. Like I won't get in a lake now. Like I don't think. No, they're dirty. Yeah, but when I used to go to Vermont, I got in lakes all the time. I mean, I would have like, you know, when you have like the slugs attached to you. Like I had all of those experiences. I crashed a golf cart one time one summer because I told them I could drive, but I couldn't. That's actually the widest thing you could do is crash a golf cart. Yeah, that is the widest thing you could do. And hopefully you're a little bit drunk. Coming through. You had a couple of Miller lights on the turn and you just couldn't handle it. No, Chris, I do not drink. You didn't drink then? No. Okay. So you're basically vegan. You don't drink. Do you smoke marijuana? No. Okay. What is your vice? What is your release? And you can't say killing it at the store. I'm talking about real dark shit. There's something dark going on under here. No. So my vice are sweets. That's like my vice. Welcome to the resistance, baby. Me too. All right. Are we talking chocolate? Are we talking gummy stuff? What are we looking at? Not chocolate, but gummy stuff. My favorite thing was Twizzlers. I can't eat Twizzlers anymore because it's all wheat, but my favorite thing was Twizzlers. But I'll go with Swedish fish, a sour powder. Oh, let's go. Gummy bears, just any sort of good candy, like fruit snacks. But that's the candy department. That is the candy department. That's why I don't say that I'm vegan because as much as I'm not going to like drink a cup of milk or eat cheese, like I never liked cheese even a kid or milk. But like I don't care if the cake is made with eggs and milk. Like I don't care about that or butter. You know what I'm saying? Like I eat cakes, cookies. You're not checking the donut ingredients to see if there's gelatin in it or anything like that? No. You're all set. I mean I was –

We were talking about this recently, actually, because I think that Swedish fish, I love them, but the tooth pain, I just can't really get past it. Have you had your teeth replaced? Are those your real teeth? These are my real teeth. Yeah, these are my real teeth. Teeth looking good. So I'm impressed. Thank you for answering that ridiculous question in a serious manner. That's not a ridiculous question. She's saying she eats a lot of candy. She's a member of the Hollywood elite community. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I never said that. I said it. I'm saying you're a member of the Hollywood elite community. I can't. I'm sure you got a lot of friends with veneers and I'm sure you've been tempted, but they look they're looking good. All natural. I do have a lot of friends with veneers. And I actually I'm so thankful because these are my teeth. I don't have braces. I don't. I definitely take better. Well, well, it's because I. I love a beautiful smile, but I'm not a fan of the veneers. I'm really, really not. I mean, nobody wants to get them. I think it's more of a you have to get them, you know, like your teeth are so fucked up. Or unless it's the other side of the coin where it's like I have like. some type of tooth dysmorphia and I need to have like the most insanely perfect teeth to where it looks unnatural and then you're a freak show. Tooth dysmorphia is a new thing. Jason's also a doctor. Not a doctor, a dentist. You know the difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, veneers, they just, honestly, I'm price adverse. 50 bands for the teeth is not, it just seems unreasonable. I feel like you could do a lot of other stuff to get them pretty good. before you have to go to the shave down veneer level uh i mean it's you know it depends like i don't want to judge anybody's struggle but i will say this my friend because i can't speak i can't speak from that because i don't know because i got great teeth so i don't you know i'm saying so i don't i don't know like i understand you know i'm saying ministry but uh my friend got her teeth done and she went to turkey

And it was drastically less because in a lot of people like that's what Turkey is known for. Turkey is known for dental work, good dental work. And all the men go to get their hair, their hair transplant. Yeah, we talk. Yeah, we talk about this a lot. I've been to Istanbul and the hair stuff is very. Chris, say why you went there, because she might think that you went there for a procedure. Oh, yeah. I was going to ask, did you get your hair done? No. I didn't. This is all natural. It's all natural. It's God's gift to me. I have a nice, full head of hair. I just keep it short because it's easier for working out. Thank you for that. Full and luxurious. He likes to be aerodynamic. Take that however you want to take it. I like to be aerodynamic. No, I went there just for fun because it's beautiful. I just went for vacation, and I'd heard that before, but I'd never seen it, and it's kind of gnarly because it's bloody. So it's like – It's bloody. And you have to wear – they wear like branded headbands to keep the blood from dripping. But I found out recently – I also found out recently from a friend that you can get a lot of procedures done there at a great discounted rate. So I am looking into it for some medical tourism. I don't know what it is yet. Yeah, I might go and get my legs shortened a little bit. Yeah. Take three inches off. I don't think that – we talked about this on stage because we just got back from doing some shows. one of the many things that are different in being a man and a woman is that the kind of for men, I feel like aging is not only accepted, but almost rewarded, you know, like gray Fox, like it's hot daddy, et cetera. So I don't feel the pressure to get Botox and fillers and fat removal yet, but I, I don't know. Jason, do you feel that pressure, or are you free from that? No, I don't feel any of that pressure. I haven't really gone gray yet, so I'm good there, and my hair is good. I think eventually at some point I might look into a little Botox, but I'm a little cock-shy on pulling the trigger because as soon as you do it, you've got to kind of do it for life. It's a commitment. You can't just do it once and be like, whatever. But I'm never going to get fillers because I'm a grown-ass man. I can't do that. That's crazy.

Fellas getting fillers is a while. It's wild. Like if you if a guy admitted to you that he got fillers, would you I mean, are you letting him hit or no? Let's be real. That's one. Not the criteria for me to hit. I would be taken aback. But I mean, you know, there's a lot of people. There's a lot of people who are considered a lot of men specifically who are fine, who get like, like, let me just tell you, Brad Pitt. Not looking like that. Just God. That's a good point. You know. He has a great doctor. He has a great medical professional, but it's not natural. I think the Brad Pitt tax bracket medical professional is something that Jason or I would not have access to. I don't know if the quality of work would be the same. That's everybody. The whole point, in my opinion, the whole point of anything that accentuates makeup, hair, plastic surgery procedures. The point is not to look like you got it done. The point is to just look like you effortlessly a fine-ass person. Sure, sure. I woke up like this. Yeah, exactly. If ever we could see your fillers, if ever we can see your work, then it's not really good work. Well, that's the problem, though, in L.A. I think the trend is like. like the lips for example have gotten absolutely insane i think the trend is to look like you got them done people people or people just don't know when to stop the they have a worm in their brain that tells them that they look normal and they need to add more is kind of the real problem and nobody in their life is going to tell them like babe you look fucked up like you got to do something about this well here's the thing like do you guys like that because hell no like i don't know who is it It's like, you know, it's like I if a guy was like, yo, I got these plastic surgery muscles. I'm gonna be like you. Right. But like every guy that I ever don't come for Drake like don't come for Drake's abs. Don't do that. We're big fans. We're big fans. Any guy I ever talk to be like, yeah, I don't care if she got a fake butt or fake titties. Like guys don't be caring about that. But I think women, I think that that's something that we will be like. So you wasn't even going to try and get real muscles. Like, I don't know. It's like.

I don't know. Muscles have a purpose. You get what I'm saying? It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you look strong, but you can't open a door. Like what purpose? Oh, I see. I see. Yeah. That does kind of take away the masculinity. Not much like the mobility issues. You got all these bench press and muscles, but what happens when you need to do something with it? Right. Also, like I see on TikTok, I'm seeing all like the men here that like the men weave the men wigs and it really changes the guy. Like it really like. I see the before and after, and I'm like, damn, if I met him in the after, I would think, like, oh, that's a good-looking dude. You get what I'm saying? But, like, I don't know how I'm going to feel if he has to take the hair off at night. Like, I don't really – I ain't never dealt with that. I don't really know. Can you imagine – like, okay, so, yeah, I mean, a guy taking his hair off at night? before he gets into bed would be jarring like i think that would be maybe a bridge too far he puts it on the ring light next to the bed every night i'm just gonna throw this on a mannequin head over here which so what is your local air one like where are you seeing the freaks in la most uh my local air one is uh by the by the grove by the beverly center oh that's that's also my local air one so we're seeing the same kind of i mean i i guess i'm i guess i'm like used to it but i don't i don't i don't know like i see i travel a lot for shows as i'm sure you guys do and i see the most in airports and it's really when you get to certain cities like when i'm traveling to like detroit you see the work but it's not really good work. You know what I'm saying? Sure, sure, sure. And so you really can see it. Yeah, Detroit, not the best. I mean, you guys are, in West Hollywood, you're spoiled. That's arguably the epicenter of the best work in the world, right? Maybe like, well, Korea, Dubai, Beverly Hills, that's kind of like, and New York. I think it's the most visible. I don't know if it's the highest quality. I don't think it's the highest quality. Like, I was just...

driving the other last week driving on rodeo drive and i saw a woman standing outside and it's like her butt was huge and fake and her face was fake and i don't i think she thought she looked great you're talking about kanye's chick what am i talking about kanye's chick yeah no just like a random woman well well what what's another city that has that has better per capita plastic surgery obviously beverly hills has awful plastic surgery everywhere but It also has some of the best, right? I'm going to take some sleepers. There's some sleepers in this. Name some cities. Osaka, what do you got, Chris? No, no. I think we need to think about places where there's big bread like Dallas. Yeah. They got money. I feel like Dallas. I feel like maybe Jason, like La Jolla, San Diego, like that kind of, you know? Palm Beach, obviously, you know, let's not forget Florida. Yeah. Beautiful state. Calabasas. Yeah. A lot of international places like a lot of like the London, you know, just anywhere where they have money, you should be able to see like, oh, people look better here like they just because they have, you know, access. But the work is also different. Like if you go to Atlanta, the work is not really going to be in the face. The work is going to be in the body. You know what I'm saying? Well, I just had sort of an impromptu bachelor party at Magic City in Atlanta last week. And I can sort of attest to what you just said, actually. Yeah. A lot of attention was paid to some of the bodies. Yeah. Yeah. Not so much the face. It's just like a lot of hair and like a lot of butt, right? But little, very little waist. Sounds like a Cameron song. Yeah. Sometimes I look and I'm like, how do they even get clothes that fit? Like how? Yeah. That's the first thing I think, too, when I see it. I think a lot of the clothes are maybe made from synthetic materials that are very malleable. Like stretchy. Yeah, exactly. Got a lot of give to it. They got a lot of give to it in the fabrics. But, yeah, I think that it's gotten to the point where I thought.

I wonder what's going to happen now because the Kardashians are in their white phase now. They're dating white guys. And I wonder if they start walking it back body-wise as well in this new phase. But I think they have. Yeah, I think they have. But there's plenty more. Like, are we going to go like 2001 mode where it was like Kate Moss level shit? I mean. Like, are we going to get ribs removed is what you're asking? I don't think we're going to get ribs removed, but I don't think that they're going to be like heroin chic or anything. But I'm just saying. I don't even think they got to walk it back that much because white guys are also on the trend for bodies. you get what i'm saying like the the the the masses are now like this is the trend everybody like it's not just women of color it's white women it's everybody got like are getting bodies and they should have never told white people about ass no they fucked up we're here now no it's true it's true i used to just be White people used to be afraid of a big butt, and now it's a key hero item that we look for. A key hero item. It's true. It's true, though. I need to ask you guys this. What about an ass did you fear? I don't think it's a fear. I think we were kind of hardwired to believe that. As white men, we couldn't handle that. It was not, it was not, we could not, we didn't physically have the capabilities. Of like, like, like a penis, like a penis this large enough. Maybe, you know, she said, your penis is not large enough. Look, maybe, okay? Fuck you, maybe that's true. Okay, maybe. It's clear. Terrifying. I'm trying to figure out exactly what you're saying. Did you feel like if the ass is too big, like you're going to insert and it's only going to penetrate like one third of the ass? No, no. I think it's just like. Yes, that's exactly what we're saying. I think it's a little bit. No, it's like you pull up to the truck stop. You see the parking spot that's made for the 18 fucking Wheeler. Yeah. You have a Honda Accord. Yeah, you got a Prius. I'll be able to park my car in there, but.

If all the other guys with the 18 wheelers pull up and see what's going on, you know, it's not really going to be looking too good. It ain't sweet. But I do think that, yeah, I mean, I think it's the times have changed. And I think that, you know, we're able to kind of we've gotten past it. And I don't think that's good for anybody. And also, we're both very tall, tall people. Just imagine if you're, you know, five, seven white guy and you see. You know, a Megan Thee Stallion ass. You're just like, I want my mommy. Like, what am I going to do with that? Jason, what does your girlfriend look like? How is she built with her body type? She has a very great body. She keeps it tight, but she's also in great shape, does like hot yoga, Pilates, multiple days a week. She has a very good body. But is she like a two? Is she a six? Is she an eight? What is she? Oh, no. She's on the smaller side. She's juicy, but she's not walking around with a big, giant fat ass is what you're asking. Okay. And Chris, what type of? I would say the same. I would say it's pretty similar. Okay. No, but I mean, you want a tight bod, but I don't need insane shit going on. I don't need aftermarket accessories added. You know what I'm saying? Okay. That's all. I think that I have a – I would say that I'm a guy who appreciates the 90s kind of natural way fish look. Okay. And that's unfortunately for me well documented. Chris, what's natural about way fish? Well, I mean, what do you mean? I'm saying there's no additional parts added at the medical office. Just a regular old eating disorder. So of the Kardashians, you would go for Kendall? Kendall's by far the hottest Kardashian, yes. Yeah. I mean, she's one of the hottest lesbians I've ever seen, but I don't know if she would go for me. You know what I mean? Whereas I'm more of a Khloe guy because she just looks like more fun, you know?

doesn't look fun she looks mean to me she'll go mean on some fries but that's about it who's your pick then i i they none of them are my speed like i know i i'm you know well none of them are our speed either but we still had to answer the question but if okay but if i had to pick um yeah i don't like any added parts so i would definitely go with Kendall, but she's basic to me, in my opinion. Like, I mean, I definitely see, like, great photos and, like, money, but, like, if she worked at the supermarket, she would be just, like, a basic, like, I wouldn't even remember her in the room if she worked at a supermarket. Without all the, you know, okay. And so that's how I judge, that's how I judge people, you know what I'm saying? Like, would I like this person if they had nothing? That's an important question to ask, especially when you're living in Los Angeles. You're elevated. I like that. Would you like that person if they had nothing versus would I... stay with them if they had nothing very different thing? Or are you willing to get in the slums and get in on the ground floor? Well, maybe, possibly. Like, I mean, you know, I'm not in my 20s anymore, and so the ground floor is not looking too comfortable. Okay, okay. But I'm just talking about just like attraction in terms of people, like just what I find attractive. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like what I... I mean, I think I I think what will always sell me like the thing that will make me like more sexually attracted to a person like want to do it to a person is their personality. Like I want to be physically attracted to you first. But then the thing that's going to like really move me inside is like you having like a banging personality or being like super smart or something like that. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't like abs are nice and tall, you know, be like, you know, like a general attractive aesthetic is nice. But if you dumb or you an asshole or something like that, I'm going to instantly find you unattractive. And thank God that women feel that way and women are wired that way. Yeah, Jason and I would both be – yeah, we would both be virgins if women didn't think like that and be able to kind of look past some of these physical aspects that you speak of. Yeah, guys are very different. Guys are super – and you guys like see sex first. You know, like I see – sometimes I see like really, really beautiful women, and I'm like, wow.

That woman is beautiful. But, like, I'm actually that type of woman. Right. And I don't say that to be arrogant. But, like, I don't think that God, like, if you like me, then you just like me. You know what I'm saying? But I don't think God sees me and is like, oh, Zainab is so sexy. Right. But, like, like hundreds of women stop me and are like, you are. so beautiful do you get what i'm saying like yeah yeah so i just think guys look for something very different like guys look for a very specific aesthetic and that aesthetic does doesn't necessarily say beauty more so than it may say like sexy and like feminine you know you know right right right i want to fuck that person versus like yeah i mean but you you could have an intimidating sense because you have that confidence level where you you know you you know what you want and and you know what you're looking for and i think guys often unfortunately are looking for someone that's maybe a little you know less confident because they're afraid they won't be able to pull somebody like you you know they can't yeah they can't hang they're afraid of the smoke yeah but also too like i just prefer to like i might button my shirt all the way up to here you know what i'm saying all the way up like that button that little button is hard to button like the collar button like i might button my shirt all the way up to the collar you're gonna show a millimeter of titty because you don't want it you don't want okay so you're trying to look you're trying to look covered like a good christian woman like you want to kind of keep it well for you you want to show off your personality well i mean I also think that that's like super fashionable. Yeah. I just think that that says more like, yeah, like, yeah, like look at this, like I'm gonna give you a little bit of neck and a little bit of face. And like, you know what I'm saying? I also do feel like I'm one of those people, like the undressed you like, Oh shit. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, I don't need. Okay. All right. All right. Janelle Monae. All right. Janelle Monae. Calm down. I don't, I don't need like the, the, the, the constant validation. Like if I, if I'm walking down the street and every guy is like, yo, Hey,

baby. Hey, like that's annoying. You know what I'm saying? It's just like too much. I'm sorry that being beautiful is, it does cause problems like that. And I really do feel for you. And I hope you find the support that you need. Um, because I think that, well, it sounds like she has a good method now. She's, she's buttoning up all the way, but so how many times have you gone to bed with somebody and then You take the clothes off and then somebody's like, oh, so it's like that. Is that what you hear? I'm sure if I take my clothes off and a guy is like, damn, you tricking me? I'm probably going to put my clothes right back on. Jason shows his game yet again. I think that the... I think that this has been a hot topic of conversation because of this Janelle Monae body coming out party that's happened in the last week. And I call that a hider. And I've traditionally used that term. And it's not as uncommon as one might think because, like you're saying, people do, no matter how beautiful or, you know, quote-unquote stacked they might be, they want to be appreciated for their personality, their wit. their charm and I think that Janelle Monae I think she really needs to sell records is what I'm starting to because I think this is there must be some because she's had this the whole time and I feel like something has changed you know because the video is is almost not safe for work so do you do you think that her awakening is only purely driven by album sales or she may have maybe she just had like an ayahuasca retreat or She has a good therapist or something like that happen, and she unlocked a new portion of her brand? I think all of that is possible, but I think that Janelle Monae has been making hit songs for a very long time. I think she's going to get an EGOT in her career. She's very successful, but she's not part of the conversations that other people are, and I think that's probably frustrating when you're that talented. You're probably sick of it, and when you've got the goods, you know what I'm saying? Double D-GOT is what you said. Exactly. It's easy to kind of be like, all right, fuck it. Y'all want to play with me? Like I will come to the table with something that maybe you're unfamiliar with. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, I think two things. One, maybe like this will help this parallel. Like I used to have a shaved head for a really long time. And then I decided to like throw my hair back. And it's a very different aesthetic, you know. But I think that hair isn't like.

you know, bodies are like, especially nice bodies like Janelle Monae, it's like super sexualized. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, of course. And I think when people go from like a conservative look to a super sexualized, you know, to like, you know, showing themselves, we automatically think like that they're doing it for some monetary gain or some, you know, but also too, I think women. We like people go through phases, but women go through phases and they say that women feel like they're sexiest when they're like in their mid to late 30s. Oh, OK. Yeah. And that's like in that zone. Yeah. So she might also just be really going through the phase where she's loving. She she is like desiring herself and wanting to. You know what I'm saying? I think. identifies as like uh gender neutral too yeah and so i think that you know you like like her more so than anybody if i ever see like a drastic change it makes sense to me because i'm like well yeah she kind of let us know that she's like all things Yeah. And so today she's this thing. And like, damn, this thing is like fine and sex. You know what I'm saying? Like she contains multitudes. I'm gender neutral and horny at the same time. Yeah. You can be both. I mean, I think she looks amazing. And I think it is. I think all of those things are true. But I also think it's it's like you can't ignore the fact that that's what sells. Yeah. You know, and it's like that's just it was. It is the first time a Janelle Monae music video has become a trending topic. Yeah. I like for somebody to be able to stun on you. I like that. It's like, oh, and just when you didn't know that I could come like this, let me give you all these titties real quick. No, it's great. It really is great. To me, it feels like a little bit of a throwback to when artists would change their persona. for an album you know it's like oh i'm i'm kind of entering this era that's what i'm doing that's what the music sounds like that's what the look is it encapsulates all of it and i i appreciate that because that's i wish we had more of that yeah yeah let's uh i want you were you were mentioning about dating a little bit do you normally date civilians is it hard for you to date people who are not you know thinkers funny people stuff like that you know i was actually like laughing i was on a flight back home this morning and i was kind of laughing because this guy came up to me

at one of my shows in Boston and was like, so like, you know, can I get your number? Like I know you're a celebrity, but it's like, is that like, and I thought, well, I wasn't, I wasn't so much talking about you being a celebrity as, as much as you are a comedian and an intelligent. thinker like that oh okay uh but sorry go you can finish your story please i'd like to hear but also only guys worry about that like women are like yeah you're a celebrity that's the reason why i'm even entertaining you know i'm saying like only only guys are like have some trepidation or some timid i'm just trying to hit for the story that's it you know women are like i just want to tell my friends yeah of course he's a celebrity uh but um i am not opposed to dating a civilian. Well, hold on. Let me ask this chuckle fucker in Boston. Did you bless him with the digits or did you kind of, you left him on red at the club? I said, send me a DM. That's the best way to contact me. There we go. You know, it sucks for somebody to not be interested in you, but it is what it is. I'm not mad at him shooting a shot, though. Me either. I tell everybody, shoot your shot. There's people, I've dated somebody that I met at a show. And like really, really, really was into them. You know, I dated somebody who who slid in my DM. So it's like shoot your shot. So is this OK at the shows, though? What what's the what's your demo? Like who's showing up to see you? So that's what I love about my audience. It's like so diverse. Like there could be like 20 year olds in there. There could be 80 year olds in there. They're going to be white, black, young or professionals. You know, like guys, there's some guys. Yeah, there's some guys who are. I do get like a lot of. I don't know. Guys all the time show up at my shows. Like, I'm here to ask you out. And it's like, that's cool. I'm going to keep doing these shows. All right. Yeah, I'm busy. I'm actually kind of tied up right now. So if you could just kind of give me an hour. That's what I don't like, though. Like, if I'm on stage in the middle of my set and they make it known in the middle of my set, I don't like that because that just lets me know. Guys and girls and non-binary folks. Of course, non-binary folks as well. But you're saying to me that they just, you're in the middle of your set. They've paid.

to come see you and they're like hey hey let me holler at you so they won't say it like that but like let's say i'm doing a bit and they i'll be like let's say i just go to the like like um let's say i'm like asking somebody like what's your type i don't even got to be asking them i'm like what's your type and they're like you oh classic crowd work gone wrong situation you know i mean it don't never go wrong for me because i could just make fun of that but or like like i was doing a bit about how i don't drink right and this guy when i was done with the bit he was like i don't drink either that's pretty good what do you let me fuck i don't drink either we're not getting to hit Hey, baby, we got something in common. I kind of like that. No, you say it after the show because what that says to me is like, oh, you think that you're so important that you're willing. I'm like, I know that comedy looks fun, but like you're basically interrupting me at work. Yeah. And so you think you enough of a catch to interrupt me at work. And so if you ain't enough of a catch, you become even less of a catch to me. Yes. And you're about to get flambéed on stage for doing so. Yeah. Hopefully. Do you let people have it? No, I'm not really mean on stage. Like, oh, no. I did see a video of you talking to a woman about guns and saying that. If she would get shot first, you kind of came for somebody a little bit. You think that's letting somebody have it? I mean, it was in a playful way, but I guess you're not really going in on somebody. Yeah, no. You did say that they would die. So here's the thing, right? And I got a bit of backlash for that. Okay. So I said, I bought a house, and so I got a gun. That's what I said. That's the premise. That was my statement. And so she said, me too. But I didn't ask nobody. Sure. This wasn't a question. This was me. I got a gun too. Great job, lady. Trying to do a joke. So instead of ignoring her, I acknowledged her. And I said, oh, you did too? And then she said, yeah. And I said, oh, you practice? Are you good? Right? And then she went in. She said, oh, yeah, if they come to my house, they're going to be dead. Oh, yeah. You know, it's like we know.

You ever talk to a person, they're telling you a story and you have to ask them, like, did you say that? And they're like, well, no, I ain't say that. I didn't say it. I'm going to, you know, they're coming to my house. I'm going to let Chiquita speak. I'm going to let us pray on them, dump the whole clip. Yeah. So it was basically like the big bad wolf. You get what I'm saying? And all I did was call out a truth, which is typically when a person is. speaking that confidently about something they the person that's going to be the worst in the situation you know what i'm saying of course so i was just when she was like yeah they come to my house they're gonna be dead baby they're gonna be dead they go and i said girl i know you're gonna die first like i know i just know it and i mean and that's why i know about you because that's that's that's a it's a perfect joke because it works it's sound and you could tell somebody you're gonna die first and it works That's you know, that's it's it's the perfect crime. It's great. So I but if people think that that's like coming for somebody, then I guess I do, because every in every moment I just speak like I go wherever logic takes me. Yeah. But also that's what people want when somebody is yelling out. I got a gun, too. It's just because they're desperate to find something in common with you because they love you so much. They came to see you. They pay this money. And it just comes out in inopportune ways sometimes. And you got to give them a little bop on the nose. Yeah. And hopefully they'll be like, damn, maybe next time I won't heckle my favorite comedian because that's stupid. Yeah. And we all have to learn the hard way. Yeah. And that's all in good fun. And like, I know to say that to her because I'm experiencing that, too. Like, you know, like in terms of if I if I were able to finish the joke, I would have. told how i forgot how to load my clip and so i was trying to watch a youtube video if i was if i was able to finish the joke then i would have been the butt of that joke as well do you get what i'm saying but i wasn't because she really wanted me to know girl i got me too and then i got my gun and whoever ready i'm ready and it's like even if that is true you ain't supposed to say it you know what i'm saying like no no no that's not your time what kind of gun do you have though just quickly a clock okay and

Do you go shoot it often or did you just kind of do a once or twice? I did it a few times and then I plan to go like monthly, but I haven't been in a while. As a homeowner, I'm not allowed to own a gun. Not for my past crimes, just my girlfriend won't allow that, but I'm from the South. Is it because she's Canadian? Yeah, Canadians aren't really big on the Glock in the house. They kind of think, we can just settle this nicely. We don't have to go that hard, okay? We don't have to kill anyone. It's not that serious. Yeah, I've thought about it as well. I don't have one, but it's definitely not off the table. I'm terrified. I'm terrified as well. If something's going to go down, it's probably going to be in the middle of the night. I'm probably going to be off inedible. I don't want to be fumbling for the fucking shoddy when I'm high as a motherfucker. I just watch 100-foot wave. I'm just vibing. I'm like, oh, God, I got to kill somebody right now. Yeah, I kind of agree. I think also I would definitely be one of the statistics where I, like, gun owner killed protecting himself because he did something wrong. Yeah. But, you know, I think there – I don't know. Do you actually feel – Like, did you feel danger or was this a precautionary thing? Like, I have something to protect now. It's mine. Like, I'm going to take this step. No, I do not like guns. I do not at all like guns. Same, same. And I do think that there's another way. But, you know, I do have like a lot of male friends who were like really adamant. Like, no, you know, like. You know, at times you're single and you're there and you should really know how to protect yourself. But it's like, really, if I have the opportunity and there's an intruder in my house, then I'm just going to try and get out the house. Yeah, that's going to be my course of action, you know. But I will say that when I did go to the shooting range in practice, I got I was really good, like surprisingly good. Just in terms of like aim and calm and stuff like that. With your background in fishing, it comes as no surprise. So she's a natural born killer at the range. I got a particular set of skills. You used to have a podcast, but now you don't. What happened to that? I just stopped doing it. I was doing it like once a week.

it was just like me ranting to myself. It was very, you know, I didn't have any guests and I would like just talk about it. Exactly. Exactly. Just like Bill Burr. And I mean, but like a little bit, you know, a little bit more smoother. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't like, hold on. You're not into hockey. I'm so surprised. I wasn't like, I wasn't like yelling and getting an aneurysm for like 40 minutes. But, but then I just decided to like, I realized like, I don't know. I just feel like people be talking about telling us how they feel about everything. And then I just realized like. Oh, it's so many people having a conversation that's not important. Let me shut my ass up. No offense, podcast guys. No, none taken. I get that feedback in my personal life as well, so I get it. But usually if you cancel the podcast, it's either two things, like you were just bad at it, you didn't like it, or you weren't good at it, or you had something else that kind of was going well enough and you were like, my stand-up is killing you right now and I'm traveling, I'm making money doing that. I'm not going to waste my time with this podcast shit. So I feel like it could have been a little bit of that too. No, like I think I was good. I think a lot of people liked it. I think when I stopped doing it, people were like, where's the podcast? And people still hit me like, I'm just now binging your podcast. And I'm like, I think part of it too was like, you know, when you do something every week and you're just talking, like I started seeing people, you know, getting... like penalized for like the things that they said in like the past and it's like i remember saying something on a podcast like saying like an actress wasn't She didn't have the face to wear the dress she wore. That's a fine opinion, but that's also something that it's not worth it to bite me in the ass later. Yeah, no, it's not. So you did a Met Gala episode too and said a few things that you shouldn't have? Did I do? It was either a Met Gala episode or maybe like an Oscars episode. It was very early. Award show. Yeah, award show. And I just didn't feel like it was worth it. But it was very easy for me to do because it wasn't guest reliant. You know what I'm saying?

And I do have opinions like I would go all over the place. Like I remember I did a rant about how when when it was like Meghan Markle and what's the guy that she's married to? That's Prince Harry. Prince Harry. OK, my favorite pastime is like to not know who white people are. It's like I knew you I knew you were a big fan of this podcast before you came on. So I appreciate. kind of letting us know that that's for sure the deal even if wait just for the record you know who prince harry is and you're just doing your little kink where you act like you don't know who he is or what was what was the no i i literally like i saw a picture of him in my mind but i couldn't okay okay okay well just to be clear i know it says on the screen but i'm chris that's jason just so you just kind of so you know As we move forward. We did a Met Gala episode a few weeks ago, and we were talking to somebody who's a very big celebrity stylist about it. And I think the reason why you kind of felt like maybe it's not worth it anymore is because once your profile sort of gets to a certain level, it's really, really difficult to say critical things about other people. Even if you are really funny, even if it's an amazing joke. It's just like it's just not worth the shit that you get. You can't fuck your money up for making fun of a dress. It's just not. It's just not worth it. It doesn't equate. Yeah. But I'm but I'm saying don't give up. We got to find a way to try. You know, it's it's it gets harder, but it's not impossible. But also, to be very honest with you, I also like had no interest in like the hot topic. Like I just actually lost interest in talking about that. Like nothing about this Met Gala made me feel like. I did one episode, I think like last year, like right when I was done with it, I did one episode and it was something Kanye did. I was just compelled to talk about. I think it was when he couldn't go to, he ain't know where his kid's birthday party was. I just found that so. funny like i just i just and then and then the video like i think he looked like he was in like a honda core he was driving and my premise my my the premise of the pot like the point of the podcast was like listen everybody is like my life would be so different if i was just rich and famous and look kanye is a whole billionaire right now and he got the life of a baby of a baby

daddy making 22,000. You know what I'm saying? Like you're not exempt, you know? You can see it on his face. Yeah. And so that I was compelled, but like, I've not seen anything really like in the vlog, blog news cycle. This made me go like, damn, I got to talk to the public about this. Like anything that I can say funny. It's like, I could just take it to the stage. Yeah, no, that's true. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Exactly. We do this. We do this podcast three times a week. So it's, uh, I saw. Yeah. We're just hanging ourselves out to dry as often as possible. But I do think that because we do two that are with a guest, it's like a 15-minute intro that we do together. Yeah. often feels like the really appropriate time to tackle those hot topics that you're talking about and you have to move through it so fast yeah the timely throwaway topics like boom this happened blah blah blah and that's it and yeah you can't do a whole episode on it because then you're like is this my life yeah yeah there's no protein so wait so all you guys do is a podcast like that's that's who you are no i mean well we do some other stuff but that's a big chunk of it i would like you to not kind of pigeonhole me like that i'm actually a really creative person that has a lot of endeavors that yo chris a hit dog hollers ain't you from georgia um the first time i the first time i heard that i was like what else i'm around this like southern guy he's like from texas or something and he said two things i had no idea what he said what he said a hit dog hollers and i was like where's the dog is there a dog in the house like i don't like what are you talking about and then he's said it's like selling wolf tickets and i was like i've never heard that one and i've heard like a lot of people say it since and i was like what does that mean and he was like you ever you ever what tickets to see a wolf and i was like no they sell those he was like exactly you changed me i mean southern shit is crazy people say crazy shit it really is like the way of speaking and stuff like like

The hit dog holler thing is really good, and that clicks instantly. Yeah. The second choice, the wolf, it's a little harder to parse. That doesn't quite roll off the tongue in quite the same way is all I'm saying. All right. Well, thank you for taking the time to pod with us. I know you just flew in this morning. We're proud of you for that early-ass flight. I like the way you do it. Yeah, I got to get out of there. The blue eye. Yeah. Where were you coming from? I was coming last night. I was in Philly, but I started last week in Rhode Island. I went to Rhode Island, and I did a couple of nights. in boston then i did buffalo which was like buffalo i thought that that was like the last of us yeah yeah it's not great up there it's not great up there it was like just desolate i'm like where are the people where buffalo so buffalo didn't show out for you is what you're saying that you know what people drove in from canada like the people some people came but i mean just walking the streets like like i could walk i could walk like 15 city blocks and not sing see a single soul Yes. It's not even the middle of winter or anything like so bad. Yeah, that's crazy. It's a beautiful day. It's 80 degrees. It's mother's day. They're brunch. You know, they're brunch. Come on now. But yeah, thank you so much. We appreciate you taking the time. Hope you had fun. Yeah, we really appreciate it. Thank you. So, so wait, do you guys know the listener that made me know? I mean, I don't know her personally, but I've talked, I've sent a few messages back and forth on Instagram. Okay, okay. But I had, I don't know how I had seen, I don't know where I came across you, but that's when I had DM'd you like a year ago. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, she's super funny. We should have her how long gone. And then you did not respond or open that message. But then, you know, somehow we made it here. So I really even though he is verified, he has a check. Yeah, I'm verified. Like, did you not like what are you not? I'm not going to click on this little peanut head ass right now and open this whole DM. Oh, not again, because if I click, he's going to see that. Oh, no, no, I didn't even like I don't even like there's so many messages. OK, all right. Relax. OK, we know I'm with I'm with you. I'm with you. It's a full time job. We're applying to these goddamn something like Instagram.

hides it. You know what I'm saying? And so when the girl, when she, I think her name is Diana or Deanna, something like that, right? And she hit me and I was like, what? So I went and searched. And that's when I saw your message. And then I looked and I was like, oh, my God, this was like a year ago. Like, you know, and then, you know, I look at it as a blessing because it allowed me to kind of follow you, understand your material, get to know you a little bit so that this did when the day finally came for us. We didn't deserve you a year ago is what we're saying. Exactly. We had to earn it. And you made you made us work for it. And honestly, I went back and got my master's. I lost 10 pounds. OK, OK. Before I go. Right. People tell me this all the time when I do their podcast. They're like, oh, you're not like how you are on stage or you're not like how you thought you're not like how I thought you were going to be. So am I how you guys thought I would be? No, I think it's good that you have a little bit of a different persona. Obviously, every comedian has their onstage character that they do. And then the real life person, when they're starkly different, it's a little jarring. Maybe you're like a sociopath. But when it's like 100% that person all the time, it's also exhausting. And I think you do a good job of being like, I'm regular. I'm a normal human being. I'll get my jokes in. But on stage, it's dialed in and I'm there for a reason. I'm going to do my job. So I think you do a good job of that. Acting like a human being for a comedian. Best of both worlds, R. Kelly and Jay-Z. You know what I mean? Don't like that reference, but okay. What R. Kelly songs should I play on the outro as the episode is kind of ending? Don't worry. There's so many. I'll pick one. There's so many. They're still in streaming services. Don't worry if you have a wedding coming up or something. All right, yeah, but this will be out tomorrow. Okay. We'll see you in the DMs. You got it right back, okay? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Thank you guys for having me.