385. - Annie Hamilton

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. It's me, yes. It's me, Chris Black. It's me, them jeans. It is a fucking scorcher here in LA. Global warming isn't real. It's just summer. We all know that. Jason was just saying he wishes he still had his shaved head, which I thought was a great look on him. Honestly, he's got a nice little dome piece on him. I have a banging little dome. But I also understand that when you have a head of hair like yours, it would be kind of a disservice to... Not only yourself, but your loved ones and America as a whole. I really liked having a buzz head. It kind of keeps you on your toes a little bit, you know? You operate through the world a little more sleek and aerodynamic, the same way that you've talked about. But you are also probably the only one who's like, I really like this look. I think you look really good and better than you did. I'm not saying you looked better necessarily than you did. I'm saying that you have... incredible range you know that's all i'm saying much like okay much like our guests today um you can you can kind of uh embody many roles and one of those is like shaved head no sleeves bike guy or it's or it's like sweater

cigarette DJ guy. You know, you kind of have... Sweater, cigarette, DJ guy? The Dim Jeans doll comes with many accessories and aftermarket parts to kind of add to kind of make him your own. The American Girl TJ is highly customizable, whereas I don't have that kind of range. All I can do is kind of show up, you know. Yeah, my Barbie doll is lousy with sweaters. Up to my gills and cashmeres. And yours is basically just what? Just this old T-shirt and this old truck, something like that? Really? That's the name of my new album, This Old T-shirt, This Old Truck, coming out RCA Nashville next month. Thanks, everybody, who helped me with that. No, I mean, look, I just don't think that – I just think that when you're blessed with some of the things that you're blessed with, it allows you to pull things off. And, of course, it limits you. We all have limits, Jason. Fuck. I know. That sucks. I know, bro. I'm sorry. I know I'm kind of going against what Scout taught us on the last episode, but she's not here to kind of keep me in check, so I have to keep it absolutely 1K with you. All the unlearning. Yeah, somebody sent me a DM, and they're like, great episode, but that's as much Santa Monica as I can handle for one episode. Say something like that. Use Santa Monica as a verb almost, which obviously I'm into that kind of stuff. I did another Pilates class this morning. And I'm noticing a trend over here where, first of all, still at 7.30 a.m., the crowd is not good looking enough. But the instructor was kind of like a hot twink from the Midwest. Okay. That was good. We'll take it. That was a plus. He really destroyed my obliques. So that was nice. And he was wearing on running. That was a class, though. The class was great. The class was good. It's just there's this thing that happens. in these kind of classes that I haven't seen in the same way in all the other classes I've been to in my life, where people show up literally 15 minutes late, maybe 20 minutes late to a 50-minute class. I mean, bro, 7.30, that's a tough cut, man. Yes, I agree, Jason, but if you signed up for that class and these classes sell out, so you have to sign up for it.

minimum 24 hours in advance you're saying i'm going to pay 45 dollars for 20 minutes of working out and those numbers just don't those numbers just and i love wasting money don't get me wrong but those numbers just don't work out for me it's disrespectful i'm i'm i'm saying unless unless you hit a dog with your car on the way to to the gym I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it either. Oh, parking. You live in L.A., losers. You know parking is going to be annoying. You know that there could be a meter involved. There could be a valet involved. There could be all kinds of ins and outs to getting that spot. So shortly after this hot twink trainer, quote, destroyed your obliques. I don't know how that works. Don't make that sound. The front or the back. I don't know the way that works. I thought I had good form. so then after that then you sort of become his uh i guess you might go from a top to a bottom you kind of become a submissive teacher's pet And you're sort of kind of finger-wagging and scolding the other people who aren't respecting this hot drink trainer's time. And I think it's cool that you stand up and your allyship is sort of worn on your sleeve and not hidden like it used to be. No, that's right. I was living out loud, letting it all hang out this morning. Thank you for living out loud today, Brother Christopher. It's just a wild place. The way people behave just never ceases to amaze me. And especially in the boutique fitness land, I think... It really does attract some of the most twisted folks on this flat earth. That reminds me, we need to go to the Health and Fitness Expo at the downtown Los Angeles Convention Center. Let me see here. Oh, let's check the date on that, because if I'm in town, I'll be there. It truly is. I can't recommend it enough to all of our nation's citizens. You don't need to. In any shape that you're in. Okay, okay. It looks like it's in January. No. January 6th? What the heck? I have plans on January 6th this year, just FYI. I swear to God, that's what it says. It's kind of a big anniversary for me, so I just was hoping maybe I could have the day off. Okay. So 2023, it'll be going down January 14th and 15th. Okay. It's called the Fit Expo. It's a fitness experience. Obviously, the ticket for this will be a media write-off. Of course. No, no, no. Of course. I would expect nothing less. I want to talk about, just quickly,

uh the new diet that you kind of oh my parmesan parmesan and fish diet yeah you soft launch a new diet that sounds trendy and cool and i just you know before we give it away for free i just want to make sure you've kind of done your due diligence on the ip and kind of all that stuff to make sure because i don't want a south beach diet the be real account has been secured thank you um i have my go daddy on auto pay so that shouldn't be a problem like it was before Okay. All right. So the Parmesan and fish diet, obviously it consists of the two things that are in the title, but where else do you see yourself kind of exploring and going with these parameters? Other than under the sea? That's a good question, Chris. I know that's a good question. It sort of came from me just sort of feeling like shit ever since I got back from traveling. I just haven't really been able to get back into the groove that I was in. My fitness routine is not as dialed in as it was before, so I just needed a little boost or help. Sort of taking a page out of the way you eat in a lot of ways. But I've always thought growing up that the best, healthiest way of eating was being vegan, but you also ate fish. So, you know, more or less kind of like a macrobiotic style diet. Of course, still drinking and smoking and things like that. But, you know, cuts are made and sacrifices are made where they can be made. And then, you know, it was a little too drastic for me. And I realized, you know, OK, I'll just do. The only meat that I eat will be fish, and then the only cheese that I eat will be Parmesan. Well, Parmesan's quite... Parmesan cheese. Easy on the tum-tum, as you know. Yeah, at that point, it's basically vegan. It's just kind of like petrified wood that has a strong umami crystal flavor in it. Now, where does tinned fish land on this? Is that going to make it or is that a little oily maybe for this project? No, no, no. Oily is good. I welcome fish oils with open arms. Okay. So, yeah, the fish wives will be...

going down a treat there will be chili crisps and trouts and all those things but um nasty i know it is a little nasty but i also want to be in the kitchen cooking more i've been a little lazy and kind of going out to restaurants more so i want to have this yeah you do you do have a life which is kind of one of the most appealing things about you you're saying now you're going to switch it up and you're in the lab every night and i just want to ask quickly for the for the listeners at home is there a kind of a Is there a change in your marijuana consumption? Is it going to go up? Is it going to go down? Is it going to stay the same? Is there a new strain that's grown on an oyster farm that you're looking into? What is kind of the plan here? I don't think it will change whatsoever. I think the alcohol and marijuana should be about the same. I don't see any reason to divert that. It's a zero-calorie product. And just one other thing. I just hope you don't. You're not going to start wearing your Apple Watch again, are you? No, I will not. I did see a couple of Kettlebell bros. They wear the Apple Watch around their ankle. Oh, shit. Okay. That's sicko mode. It's kind of sicko mode. So when you're swinging and banging those things around and they're clamping on the wrist, you could smash a face. This is actually, I think I saw. a cracked apple watch in the wild and i was like how badly do you need this absolutely meaningless accessory that you're going to wear it broken and it wasn't even like the hermes band it was it was just such an interesting choice but it's not useless chris it's not useless i mean it's useless jason like it gives you all of your fitness stats your steps your calories your burn you know all that shit it's kind of sick that's the only sick part about it And then when you get a text message, you could look at it on your arm instead of on your hand. Yeah, that's the worst. Yeah, nothing cooler than seeing someone checking their text messages on a watch. I wanted to say, though, that if you were to wear it around your ankle and you could cover it with a sock during sporting only, I think that could be an interesting approach for you. It's a compromise that you could get. I'm not going to do it because I feel like the ankle is a gateway location.

And it'll be hours, not days, before that thing is wrapped around my tight little wrist. I mean, you could go choker if you're feeling crazy, but that's kind of... I'll have to pick up an extension on an Alibaba, and I don't like to do third-party with accessories, especially around the neck. It's a cancer spot. I don't like to do third-party with accessories. Thank you for that, Jason. We do have a guest today. Friend of the show, incredible actress, and just a great person to follow on Instagram if you like to laugh. Her hair has gone through many phases since I've known her. It's currently a shade of Auburn that I can't wait to talk about. Annie Hamilton is our guest today. You might know her one-woman show. She just wrote this great... kind of essay for the new york times about leaving uh beautiful los angeles um and uh she just loves like actresses and stuff um so we can we can kind of get into our faves with her jason i'm sure you're looking forward to that get into our faves yeah she's uh she's a true artiste she truly does live out loud and i think you know her honesty uh in the way that she sort of navigates around the world is a breath of fresh air and that's why she's become you know Just herself is a cult classic. You know what I mean? Just as a human being, she's just like, I don't know what it is, but let me get some more of that. I can't wait to ask her about the time that I saw her at Finnelli with an older man. Finnelli's with an older man. And I approached the table to talk to them, and it was the guy profiling her for the New York Times. And I was like, sorry to interrupt, but also like, can I hang out a little bit? I wouldn't mind adding color to this. Yeah, I think that my voice is also necessary here. But, you know, let's give her a jangle and see what's going on over there in the Big Apple. I would love to see you just walk into a place and there's a little digital recorder on the table and you get hard as a rock. Chris Black, How Long Gone Podcast. Pleasure to meet you.

Anyway, I'll be over here if you need any comment. I pull out a 3x5 index card that says media on it and tuck it into my cap. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly, a website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional.

as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable. And they're just easy, but still put together. I don't look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. I came up with all these opening lines. I got really nervous 30 minutes before. Why? You've done this before. I mean, on lesser shows, of course, but you've done it before. On lesser shows, and I always say. I mean, I'm really hoping that I don't say something stupid. And you said something that haunted me for quite some time, which is that I said, when am I coming on the podcast? And I was a lowly person living in Los Angeles and desperately needed to change some of my habits. And you said you're too much of a liability.

And I walk around thinking about this. And I sometimes talk shit about you saying, well, Chris thinks that I'm too much of a liability, but he had so-and-so on. And it inspires me to act more elegant. Do you not think there might have been some truth to that at that time? Yeah, there was. Okay, I think that's maybe why it sticks with you. It hits hard. And people have told me things like that as well. And they have also kind of punched me in the gut. But the point is that we're here now. Sure. Chris gives tough love because he responds well to tough love as well. Yeah, that's right. So it's all coming from a good place. Also, being a liability on a podcast is sort of what everyone wants to hear. All of us are more prepared now than we were. And this is God's plan for us to kind of do this now. I think that Jason and I have become better as podcasters and as people. I mean, it wasn't you. I wasn't ready. Yeah. I wasn't ready. I'll say it. Sometimes God gives his hardest challenges to his best soldiers or whatever. I think maybe you're one of our challenges, but now these soldiers are ready. I think it's what's happening. I felt that Jason sort of understood me from, I don't know, he followed me. at a time in my life where I felt like it was like an hour that I felt like I just posted something and I was like, oh, Jason gets my humor. And then I feel like the rare tweet that Jason likes, I'm like, I think he understands me a little bit. So I was thinking, you know, it's okay because Jason will, I will have my back and Chris will be really. I don't really like the narrative that's being painted right now. I know. I don't know why I'm negging you. I'm sorry. When I'm actually – I think that the problem that this podcast has caused – well, the many problems it's caused in my life is that it has painted me as this bad guy and Jason is this kind of lovable sweetheart. And the reality is – and I think people would be upset to find this out – the opposite is true. And that's kind of the problem. But also, Annie, you might know this because –

You know us sort of personally in real life. Internet Chris and real life Chris are also sort of opposite things to begin with. I know why people don't trust your face, Chris. Why? Aside from his caucasity? And I know why people tend to think that Jason is more of a reliable presence. Because your face, Chris, is a consistent face. You have one of those faces. than pictures and real life and i don't see you day to day but like you always look the same in a nice way you look nice but jason has a face like mine that fluctuates from picture to picture day to day and i think people i think people are like uh Jason, is that right? Yeah, yeah. It sort of humanizes you if you have good days, bad days. I don't think they're bad days. I don't think you look bad some days. He looks bad some days. But what you're saying to me, I think what you're saying is that I have a face for kind of billboards, like really like kind of like a late night. Like an Andy Cohen kind of. Like an Andy Cohen. An iconic poised face. And you and Jason are maybe more emotive, which is great. but maybe can't kind of lead you to the walk of fame, let's say. I guess so. I think it's just like that cool forever type of popular kid face that no matter on the like overnight school field trip, you still look the same as when you prepared for school at home. And there's just something, it's annoying. It's a nuisance to not be that way. You know what I think it is, Annie? And this is a gift and a curse, lack of hair. You have blue eyes too, is that right? That's right. That's right. 40 out of 46 presidents had blue eyes, and people tend to – no, it's true. He's got some brownies in office. That's pretty crazy that Obama had blue eyes. I didn't know that. That's hot. He might. But, yeah, Chris, I guess that is an interesting point that I did not – yeah, your face is lacking variation so much that it has like an uncanny valley kind of vibe.

I'm trying to touch your face through the Zoom because I don't believe it. Right now I'm on a podcast with two people who I would say are both better looking than me, and you guys are nagging me saying that my face is too symmetrical and too good for people to actually like me on the inside. That's a very interesting, that's a really cool twist that I didn't see coming today. It's the rise of the Uggos. Annie, wait until I get my teeth whitened. It's over for you, hoes. They're not already whitened? It's the last part about him that hasn't been whitened. I haven't had any work done yet, but 40 is around the corner. So I think it's time to kind of fire up the Beverly Hills medical office paparazzi photo. You've got real personality teeth. I'm surprised to hear that they're not whitened already. But I don't need to pick you apart here. We can move off your... No, it's fine. This is what people come here for, actually. So it's totally fine. And my eyebrows are not plucked. These are natural. So I just want to also put that. Now, that is a lie. Don't worry, Annie. Annie, we'll be picking you apart in no time. Don't worry. You can push it to the side as much as you want to try, but it is inevitable. Annie came on this podcast thinking she could kind of make Jason her ally. And what she doesn't understand is that Jason is literally my ally publicly. That's what we do. That's our whole thing. So I don't know who you think you're going to kind of get one over on. But it's not going to end well for you if you keep going down this path. Yeah, it's not good cop, bad cop. It's bald bad cop and not bald bad cop. It's sort of the game that we play. It's just two bad cops, and then there's also a guest. That's kind of what the premise of this program is. But it's good to see you. It's good to see you, too. And I think that it really is time for you to come on the show. And, yes, your profile has raised considerably. I always knew you would be a star, and I was just waiting until the moment is right. Yeah, I can't pick up the New York Times without seeing your damn mug on it one way or another. Yeah, I don't understand. They always talk about diversity, but then there's an Annie Hamilton article every day in the New York Times. I don't understand. I don't understand. Is there something going on that I don't know about? Annie, I know a lot of people of color who eat toilet paper, and I think it's fucked up that you're sort of the only one getting the shine. It's a sham.

I mean, I have no idea how I bamboozled my way into – I know, PR. Yeah, yeah. I'm a great self-promoter. No, you're a very compelling person. But what I would – I think what we need to tell people because they probably think you live this rich, glamorous life. You know what I mean? You're going from Escalade to Escalade, et cetera, et cetera. But the problem with the press is sometimes the optics of it are so grand, but maybe the monetary part hasn't caught up yet. And that's something – Do you know what just happened to me? No, no, no. I have no idea. This is just – Oh, my God. What happened to you? Tell us. Chris didn't read the book. He wrote it. You promised? No, Annie. No, I have no idea. I was talking about this about some work stuff, and then it just happened to me. Like when I put a book out. Even when we had the big story in the Times about the podcast, it's great and it's cool, but, like, it doesn't put money in your pocket. It just makes you feel good. Still just have a regular Tesla, you know, not the cloud one. Exactly, yeah. I barely can afford designer clothes. I actually don't. I will talk about this. I don't know if it will get me in trouble. I don't think so. That's such a beating. I made money for the first time in my life, and my debtors seized my bank account three weeks ago and left me with zero. $6.00. So I'm figuring out my next steps, which might be filing bankruptcy before my 30th birthday. So I'm just, I don't think, I actually think I'm going to just get with the program. And my debtor Tracy, her secretary follows me on Instagram. So I'm just a little worried that. Isn't the modern world just cursed? Listen to the sentence you just said. That is so fucked. So can we talk about, is this just like living? This isn't like student loans. This is like life debt. No, this is like when I was 18, I had credit cards. Sure, sure. Yeah. So it's mostly credit. So you know your debtor by name and your debtor's secretary follows you on Instagram. Is that because the secretary is a fan of you and your work or trying to keep tabs on your life? So I went to buy a pack of cigarettes.

after I'd gone to a department store and bought really fancy sheets. And I was with a bunch of friends and said, does anyone want anything? Because I could do that. You're probably riding high. Yeah, I'm riding high. I'm like, I'm a city slicker. I'm like, I'll get cigarettes for all. It doesn't go through, it doesn't go through, it doesn't go through. I looked at my bank account. I've seen it in the negative region before. And the cleanness of the 0.00 was startling. Yeah. Called Bank of America. It was like 1030. This New York garnishment had placed a hold on my account. I called them at 8 a.m. the next morning because the garnishers go home at 5 p.m. and sort of befriended this woman, Tracy, who at first was very violent in her. Her language was quite scary. I mean, it's scary. You're in trouble. You did something bad. You're a criminal. No, the words they use with this stuff, because I've had some run-ins with the IRS in my early 20s, and the words they use are literally like, basically, they want you to think your life is over, is the vibe. There's no coming back from this. I recorded every phone call. I have eight hours of footage on my photo booth, which I was editing as we were on the... I was like... spacing out, editing it to make this deranged, caffeinated short film about my financial woes. And anyway, Tracy and I became friends. One day, a secretary picked up, and my real name's Antonia, so every time I get on the phone with them, they say this call's being recorded, who am I speaking with? And I say Antonia or Annie Hamilton, because I had credit cards in both names. And she said, are you still writing a novel? And I said, yes. i am it was wild i mean it was really wild and then um i pleaded with her don't tell anyone about this and now i'm on how long gone well i think this is something that i think this is something that people probably there's more people have dealt with this than you think i guarantee that and the problem is with something like this is that the once they take the money there's no getting the money back

Oh, well, well. You think? Okay, okay. So, have you seen... Prove me wrong. Well, so have you seen Two Days One Night, the Darden Brothers movie where Marion Cotillard is begging for justice? I was begging for justice, and I was at the notary, and blah, blah, and I got a little percentage back. Wow, okay. Because they can't legally take all of your money. without serving you yeah oh okay i see what you're saying i see what you're saying so how do we where do we go from here because if there's if there's more money coming in it obviously can't go into that account do you have to like sign checks over to someone and that you how does this work no so what i did i i talked to a a man i guess he's a man now i was I keep telling these long-winded stories, but in high school, I was a student-to-student leader, which means that you nurse a middle schooler into their high school experience. Oh, so you were a groomer even then. Interesting. Yes, I was a groomer. And my STS student ended up going on to Harvard because I'm a great groomer. And I called him and was like, which one of your Harvard friends is a lawyer? And the lawyer was like, you need to call CAMDA and all these sort of free legal aid services that will help you get your money back. And it just turned out, and basically this guy was like, you should sue American Express. I am too lazy. And I played by the rules, and I got on a payment plan. So I'm probably not going to file for bankruptcy. It just sounds so dramatic, and it was an option. I'm on this payment plan that I can't really afford. Sure. It's a lot. I thought it was going to be like $100 a month. It is still not that. And I'm playing by the rules. My bank account, it just opened again. But going cash only, I got this amount of like a couple thousand dollars. And I got it all in cash because they were going to take it again if I put it in the bank account. And I had to have a friend call me an Uber because I was on Monroe Street in Chinatown. I couldn't be walking around with.

my entire livelihood in my pocket and then I you know put it literally under my mattress uh when I got home and and just like every day would take out like a couple you know it was just um and people don't take cash anymore And to get on the subway, you need to. I don't even want to talk about this society and our movement away from cash, but I'm glad that you're kind of giving that some light here. Annie, I think you should use the services of Cash App. It's a great app that you can use to move your cash into, and it can be a safe space in international waters for your funds. Look into it. This is real? Yeah, check out Cash App. It's like Venmo for people who do stuff that's illegal. Shady. That's just one feature of that beautiful app. One feature. I mean, yeah, it's one. You can buy Bitcoin, et cetera. But I mean, you know, I wouldn't suggest that if your current state. In many ways, it can sort of take the place of a bank account. And full disclosure, Andy, they are a sponsor, but this is all real information. You're kidding. No, no, no. This is all real information, but they also are a sponsor. This is such practical advice that no one gave me. People gave me all this sort of advice, and they didn't know what they were talking about. Well, my dad is an accountant, okay? And when this happened to me with the IRS when I was in my early 20s, it was because I had gotten a substantial amount of money from a record deal. spend it all on you know like coke and flying air tran first class diesel jeans diesel jeans of course those weren't cheap and it was just kind of like i think it was it was a lesson i needed to learn to be to be honest i think i i think i i didn't get a credit card till i was like 30 years old i don't i i would shan't be having a credit card for years to come no and when you're younger it seems unbelievable like oh yeah like the the irs takes like you know like about half of your money and you're like No way. Yeah, the law always teaches me, actually. I mean, truly, the law teaches me. I guess that's what they're there for, for people like us, Annie. But the attitude that I subscribe to to this day in every fast in my life is, I'll just make more money. And I think that's something you need to adopt today on this podcast. I'm trying to in my own way.

New York Magazine asked me to do lip filler because, as they said threateningly, I have gone on record multiple times as a thin-lipped woman. Would I try lip filler for them and they'll pay me a certain amount of money? And you know what? I'm thinking about it. Annie, we can't start fucking with this beautiful face for a couple of days. I know. I'm not going to do it. It's New York Magazine. I'm on their payroll, too. I know the money ain't that good, so let's not. You know what I mean? That's where I am. That's where I am. It's nowhere near. It's not enough, but I thought about it. I'm not going to do it. Okay. Is New York Mag lip filler $300? Worse or better than doing a cameo or an OnlyFans or something like that? Where does that stand on the spectrum? OnlyFans I won't do. Cameo, no one would get my cameo. We might have to do it at a more discounted rate. I mean, it would be like a $10 cameo and I'd constantly be walking around the street. like doing every cameo ever. I mean, look, I think it's time to get your agents on the phone and say, mommy's ready to work. No, no, I'll be okay. There's some stuff coming in. I actually will be okay. Yeah, so that's kind of what I want to get to the bottom of on this podcast, not your... What the hay are you doing besides publicizing yourself all the fucking time? No, no, no, not financial literacy, not publicity, but I'm just waiting and waiting and waiting. And you're not famous yet. And I'm like, when is this going to happen? Because there's a handful of people that I know that I'm like, this person, I don't really know what else they're going to be able to do. Your calling in life is to be famous in some regard. You're only going to get a call back on the casting couch, not at like a FedEx job interview. Yeah, this is your lot in life. And it's just like I'm waiting for the world to catch up. And I'm wondering how that's going. I'm writing a TV show, and that's probably that I'm going to star in. And there's two production companies that are pretty good behind it, and it hasn't been sold to a network, so it could not happen. But these two people who are backing me are pretty impressive, and I'm going to put my goddamn all into writing this thing. And beyond that, I have a callback that would change my life, but I won't get it.

I keep getting close to these huge parts and I just finally I'm better at speaking my own words. But do you think that this is kind of how it goes? Isn't this kind of everyone's story to an extent? No, there's like real actors. I mean the fact that it's a constant slog of like... going and doing this oh yes yes and yeah maybe you're 35 but the shit hits and all of a sudden you're Jennifer Lawrence you know what I mean like I don't well Jennifer Lawrence is is one of those people who hits a big 18 but so there's not no chance that I would be like Jennifer Lawrence but you I mean you know what I mean I mean like yes I know you mean this happens yeah I I feel and I was here I'm curious how you guys will like introduce me in the how you'll describe me but I keep telling people to describe me We just called you a smoker. That was it. That's so good. I'm not happy with that. I keep telling people to say that I'm a performer and writer, which is not a slash. An and is better than a slash. There's no other one. I agree. I agree. I don't know. I'm like having this sort of identity crisis where I'm like, I don't know if I'm even. an actor and it sort of pains me because i i just did this chemistry read which has happened to me twice in my life like that's a very big deal to me when you get to the stage where they bring in the other actors and you see a view of chemistry and i was like shit this is really fun and i really love this and it's just there's no shot in hell that i'm gonna be in this giant feature film and i didn't get it you know so i i don't know if i'm gonna maybe one day i'll get a part but i think for now my my i'm spending most of my time uh performing and writing my own words and uh it makes me feel a bit cheap but uh or not cheap but like um i failed in some some it's some part of me makes me feel like i failed and then the other part of me is like i'm a real new yorker like i'm like i'm i'm like a different thing and simple actors simply actors are like horseshit like those people are like you don't want to hang with them at a party like they have nothing to say and they wear brandy melville like

But it's Gucci. But I don't care about those. Those one-dimensional creatures. That's how I'm making myself feel better, at least. I'm like, I have the bravery to say what's on my mind, and real actors don't. So when you say you get into these chemistry reads where it's like, we think that Annie has enough of a chance that we want to bring her in and see how she gets along with. Yeah. Who was the actor? Is it somebody that we know? Are we allowed to not say that? I can't say. I feel like that would be weird with me. It's uncouth. Okay. So you and Tom Cruise, we're in a room. We're vibing it out. Things are going well. But do you ever look in the mirror and lift up the rug and be like, what about me exactly does an executive look at this and be like, we love her. She did a great job. You know, there's just a couple things that are tweaked to the left when they should be tweaked to the right. And for those reasons, we can't give her the check. Many, many reasons. Many, many reasons. But I find – but see, that's the thing to me is I'm more of like a feel guy. You know what I'm saying? And to me, the true measure – the true thing that I think celebrities have, and if you've been around enough of them, talented or not, that you see, is there is a je ne sais quoi. that people just radiate. Yeah, but Annie has the je ne sais quoi. She has that radiating star energy, but I think maybe your lack of willingness to sort of play the media-trained game and be somebody that they can easily control versus somebody who is their own bright, shining light that the world sort of has to harness. You're a difficult actor to make famous because you might not do everything. and be obedient the way that you know like a young jennifer lawrence will that's a compliment i think i think that's like the best case scenario which is maybe part of it that i have a provocative internet presence but i think the real issue is like i watch movies and they all move their faces in a way where you understand their emotions

And when I record myself all the time, I'm a narcissistic freak. And my face, the way it moves does not correlate with a common emotion, I'd say. Not that I'm so special. I think a lot of people are this way and they're not actors. But I don't know. There's many reasons. I'm not a transformer. I'm not a chameleon. I'm not someone who becomes the role. I take the role and I put it in my own voice. And I think sometimes that's really funny. The thing that I have my hopes up for right now is this comedy that Alison Jones, who casts Superbad, is casting. And I feel that she might get me and that I've never been in for her before. just really have always wanted to and i said that might be something that i could put my acting into but like most parts are to play the part and i don't match a lot of parts because i speak funny and i wouldn't want to watch me be upset when I'm being broken up with either. Like, I don't know. Well, to be fair, Jason and I can speak from experience. We don't want to see anybody's face in kind of that instance. So you're not wrong about that, I guess. You want to see Mia Goth or whoever, like, be broken up with because she's fragile. And I have a theory that men love sleepy and tired women. Like, they just love like a... She's yawning. She's so... Yeah, but women also love sleepy and tired men. That's how I've managed to have sex my whole life. Are you kidding? No, not at all. I'm not kidding at all. And Jason doesn't even skate. It's crazy. Well, I think women like you probably for a bunch of reasons, but I think maybe your sleepy tiredness is really just like... maybe you're avoidant or withholding. I think it's more active than sleepy and tired. I think men are stupid enough to simply like sleepy and tired women. I think whatever is sleepy and tired on you is actually an active... It's a brooding, hotter thing going underneath the hood. He's so busy working on his car. He doesn't get a lot of sleep. It's crazy.

Can you give us an example of an iconic sleepy chick? Bijou Phillips is the first one that came to mind. Damn, okay. Bijou Phillips is an iconic sleepy chick. I haven't thought about her in years. I know why I thought of her because I went through the Leonardo DiCaprio girl fun list this morning like a moron. You know what? I'm fed up. I'm fed up with this shit. I want to speak in Leo's defense right here and right now. I love Leo. I love him so much. I love him so much. Why is this man vilified? for breaking up with women when he is the most famous actor in the world and he looks like shit but can still do whatever he wants? He looks amazing. He is amazing. I just don't. I looked at all the women to see what kind of outfits I could get. And I hope most women had this thought, but I was like, oh, he's single now. I'm single. And then I thought, um, well, no, there's no chance, but I thought it's fun. I used to dream about maybe being with him. And then I hit 25 and I realized not, I didn't know consciously that that was too old for him, but I thought, you know, this is, I did have the thought today where I was like, Oh my God, like I have more than 10,000 Instagram followers. And like, I know a couple of his friends. And not, well, I only know one, but that's like a couple. And maybe he could hear of me. And maybe he would be like, let's get lunch. And then I realized that that just would never happen. But my mind did go there. My mind said, we're single at the same time. I mean, Leo doesn't even know that most of those followers were bought. So it's kind of, there's still a real chance. And one of his boys could be, hey, Leo, listen, this chick on this podcast is talking about you. We should take her to the Chateau Marmont today. I think that it's strictly that these women start to want families, and he's just not interested in that. He's too method for kids. I couldn't agree more. I mean, as my shrink said, because I'm sort of seeing someone who is similar to Leo in zero ways, but just his tons of women are interested in him. And my shrink was like, he's young, he's hot.

He's successful. Of course he wants to taste everything. And I was like, okay. And I was like, but I just want to be the most special one. And he was like. There's no shot in hell he'll be the most special one. He's seen the most beautiful women on the planet. Maybe you could get in the top 15%. You might be. You might be. But you are not the prettiest and you are not the most special. And I was like, okay, I need to hear it. I need to hear it. Wow. Wow. Okay. It sounds like a very great shrink that you have. He's awesome. He's awesome. Okay. So he gives you a little tough love gut punch as well. He just was like, he thought I made serious growth in the way that I was talking about sex with him. So he didn't tell him, I thought he was going to say, don't see this person because you're just going to, you know, get your heart broken. And he was really smart. He said it brings up a lot of young feelings. We did the whole young feeling talk and he was supportive. He was like, you clearly enjoy a lot about this person and be realistic. Be realistic. He's telling you what he wants, which is actually a quality that's quite admirable. And it really is to be able to like look at someone that you like and you respect and be like, it's not going to be you. That's hard. And I respect it. And I think Leo is probably saying this is not what I want. And that's hard to do. It's really hard to like not. I'm the opposite. I people please. And I say a bunch of shit that's not true. I love that about you. Do you think, though, quickly, before we move away from Leo, because I don't want to get hard, is it true? Do you believe? How long were you thinking to say that before you said that? That's off the dome, baby. I didn't think about that at all. I have a question, though. You look pleased with yourself. I am pleased with myself. That's kind of part of my problem that I should talk to my therapist about. Is it true? Do you think it's true, the rumor, that he wears AirPods and listens to MGMT while he's piping? I think about that all the time. Because I want it to be true so bad. I heard the AirPods part. I don't think I heard the MGMT part. I love MGMT, yeah. I have heard exactly that. I have no idea if it's true, but I thought, what would I do if I was...

giving a blowjob in those circumstances. And it would motivate me to work harder, I think. I mean, depending on which song they're playing, of course. Yeah, if you heard a little bit. And the tempo. If you heard a little bit of it kind of creeping out of the AirPod while you're kind of doing your work. Because the BPM range that MGMT likes to swim in is sort of in the tweener zone of the stroke game. So it's not. You know how somebody would be like, I don't know where this script – is it a comedy? Is it a drama? It's a tweener, so we're not going to green light it. Same thing for having sex at MGMT for me. Annie, and this is coming from a professional DJ. This guy knows his BPMs. He's only fucking to Maxwell Unplugged for a reason, and it is the clapping. I don't even know what that is. Well, Jason likes to hear clapping, kind of, you know what I mean? Oh, clapping. You know, to encourage, but that – So I do think he listens to MGMT in the headphones, and I also think that a man of that stature is so deeply disconnected from reality that dating him must just be absolutely insane. Was that a sigh in the way that you're longing for this detached lifestyle? No, I feel so bad for these women. It must be wonderful, but it must be a real test of... finding your own sense of self and confidence. Yeah, no, I mean, I'm sure he's a nice, I'm sure he's plenty nice and pays for, you know, I'm sure it's, like, pretty good. Like, I, this person that I really like, I think he's so, he is very, very hot, and I find it hard to be with a hot person because you know that people... want to be with them and to know that every person on the planet wants to be with the person that you're with is just I don't know how you would try try having a podcast with Jason it's a fucking burden it's unbelievable it's a test on the soul isn't it a test on the soul you haven't even seen him DJ it's crazy it's it's truly like I'm basically a security guard you know and also I run this business so it's really kind of tough most days Chris can handle it but he's no he's no perfect person well I think Jason the problem is we need to

build a pussy posse around you to kind of protect you from the riffraff. You know what I mean? So if I can, I mean, I'm a little too big kind of myself, not physically, you know what I mean, as a presence, but I think we could find you some kind of lower level hanger-ons to kind of hit gold bar with you in the afternoon. You know what I mean? It's not like – A little something to attract the threes and fours that might approach. Exactly, because somebody's got to – because you don't want to be a security guard because that can feel overbearing. No, we don't want a bug zapper. We want those little adhesive strips that the bugs get stuck to and they're kind of – Did threes and fours, you mean of 10 of the scale of women? Your words, not mine. I don't like to use that. We don't do that. We would never – we've been kind of – we've gotten some feedback that that's not how you should talk about people's looks. But I don't know how else to do it. Well, I mean, rating somebody 1 to 10, there's not a lot of precision there. You only have 10. That's why I like to kind of go rotten tomatoes where you can do, you know, is she a 7, is she a 9, or is she a 79? You know what I mean? Or him, or that. My brother and I had a conversation with my mother where we were convincing her that the scale was all right. You're saying your mother wasn't happy. like with the scale existing or wasn't happy with her position on said scale? Uh, wasn't happy with her children who she mothered, uh, looking at the world as a rating rating people's physical appearances with a numerical grade. But I think we, I think we rate everything like that. That's the problem. It's not, I don't think it's exclusive to, to one thing. You know what's something, what do you guys think about this? Are, are people better? than each other yes like when someone says you're so much better okay okay yes a hundred percent it's so hard it's so hard i mean overall overall yes you know gun to your head if you're it's like all right who's a better person out of these two you can just you can make that decision i know and then there's but there's millions of criteria is the problem and then you think of a horde of people and and which percentages would

Sometimes it's clear that the entire group would choose one over the other, but sometimes it's not as clear. But anyway, it's depressing and sad. It's not as clear, but we all sit around and just think about people all day and their qualities that are good and qualities that are bad. You know when you're on Instagram and you're looking at all the good-looking people? I'm not looking at those pictures saying she's prettier or she's smarter or she's funnier than that person. I'm like, these are a bunch of people that are all prettier and smarter than me. But you're still comparing, but you're only comparing to yourself versus other people. Yeah. Yeah, that's a problem. You just look at me like, that chick is hot, that bro is hot. Yeah, I know. That's it. There's no need to compare. We don't have to compare them with somebody else. And for men, it's different because any guy that's hotter than me is gay. So it doesn't really matter necessarily. But like you were saying, the majority of people will be like, that person looks better than that person. But also the person who's not in the majority, they still have 13%. of the world's pussy at their disposal, more people than they'll ever need to have sex with for the rest of their life. So they'll be just fine as long as you're not comparing. There's enough food for all of us to eat. It just has to be distributed. I'm going to revise that statement as the father of sincerity, which I have proven to be. I just am so corny. It's terrible. This is really corny. In this last year of my life where I've been... writing stuff like tweets and tv shows i um i've compared less because i'm feeling more satisfied with i i feel like i am contributing in some way to uh something something bigger something bigger than yourself or i feel like yeah no no not that i i feel like i'm um i don't know what that means for me i'm like

I'm not just thinking about walking into San Vicente Bungalows so that maybe someone will ask me on a date. I'm like, I have an opinion, and I can use that opinion to make some. I really am feeling a bit better. Yeah, you walking into San Vicente Bungalows and waiting for somebody to ask you on a date, it's a little bit of a fool's errand, and also you probably don't want to date any of those people anyway. Chris is a member, but that's beside the point. John Mayer is too, so, you know. Andy, are you telling me BJ Novak has never DM'd you? I don't believe it. Not for one second. That'll change in the next 48 hours. BJ, you know what to do. But you're saying you can use your power as a writer to sort of peacock and put out into the world your thoughts, your ideas, yourself, and then John Mayer will come to you. It just gives me confidence to be able to I thought my whole life that my looks were the problem. I was like, if only I was prettier, then all these things would come to me, like acting work and stuff. And then I had a very revealing experience. I was working in a restaurant like a year and a half ago, and some guy asked me out, and it was my first day on the job. And I said, I can't give you my number. It's not professional. And then I went up to the hostess stand, and the host was like, We work at a restaurant. There's no professionalism. So I went back to the guy, and I kind of went up to him like, Ma'am, this is a Chipotle. I think you're fine. I went back up to him, and I did my little sort of like shtick of like, I'm kind of like Diane Keaton, la, la, la. And I said, oh, I'm so sorry about that. Here's my number. And the guy closed my hand with a piece of paper and said, I don't need it anymore. And I realized this entire time, my personality has been the problem. The guy liked how I looked, and then I opened my mouth, and he did not like what I said. So I've been learning so much. He's like, who the fuck is Diane Keaton?

Oh, is that the old bitch with the bowling hat? Oh, no, I'm good. I'm good. Okay, so you have a bad personality is kind of what we've distilled this down to. A complicated one that's not for everyone. Yeah, but I think that's the... Which is great. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I haven't talked to you in a while, and I do feel like you're better than you were. I really do. All joking aside, I just feel like you seem more at home with yourself in a way that is good. Because that's what we all strive. I mean, that's what we're all striving for, I think. Well, hopefully Canada after I'm sober. I got sober. And I actually think that that's there's no coincidence that I am better. So what you're saying, what you're saying is you're doing the work. Congratulations. I am trying to. And I just. lived in Los Angeles for 10 years as like a total speed freak. And it really was not centering. And I'm so grateful to be in the program that we can end the show for the conversation. Look, I don't need to talk about it at all. No, it's just that when you say I'm doing better, I'm like, I can't just sit here and be like, oh, that's because people are following me on Instagram. It's like, no, there's like a real reason why I seem better. And, I mean, there are hot guys at meetings that like personalities. And I know it's probably early. You know, you can't date them. I haven't fucked anyone in the program and will never do it. I believe you for now. I believe you for now. I wouldn't go back to meetings. Once he dumped me, I'd be out of the program. I see. You'd have to transfer. You'd have to transfer. I did have a crush on someone. And when I hit four months, I got his number. Was not allowed to. Found it. I had my ways, and I texted him being like, I know that we have an insane connection, that we've never spoken, and I would like to go to coffee with you. What did Bradley Cooper say? He was amazing. He was amazing. He was like, I respect your recovery. I think you seem cool. I don't date.

uh people in the program especially people with under a year and um i i don't think i have the same feelings for him now but i i really like him i'm like that's a really good person jesus like that that made you like him more almost that he was so of course he had values and stuck to them yes i mean that's amazing his following the guidelines of sobriety and inter sobriety dating was just sort of him playing hard to get is what it sounds like no no no no Challenge accepted. I truly think that even if one of us was in a different program and so we're not in the same, I don't think I'm his jag. You're not his flavor. Well, the other changes that I've noticed in your life, just from admiring from afar, is your hair color. And I just wanted to know kind of... How did we choose this shade and why did you do it yourself is kind of as a follow-up question. So it was looking orange and gorgeous last night. And then this morning I woke up and it's dark red and I need to figure it out. I didn't do it in a salon because I decided to do it 15 minutes before I did it. And I don't have the money to go to a salon right now. And I did it because. I wanted to fuck shit up. But I want to know who inspired this color. Absolutely no one. I mean, Kirsten Dunst is Spider-Man, but no person that I know. Okay, because I will say Kendall Jinder was doing a similar color and it looked great on her. You're kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. And that's a compliment. I mean, I think we all strive to be more Kendall-like. Kendall's great. Kendall's great. Kendall's great. I love her. love kylie but um really really kylie is my favorite of the sisters who loves kylie oh my god because kylie and i are both at fourth and left women travis travis scott doesn't even love kylie and they have a child together what do you mean what do you so you're saying that you you feel a kinship to her because you have thin lips yes yeah i mean now that you say that you guys kind of have the same exact body now that i'm now i'm kind of picturing

I've gone into my mind's eye. I love Kylie. I love Kim, too. I don't know. Kendall's great, but not as interesting to me. Kim is looking absolutely fantastic. Best she's ever looked. But Jason's going through a tough time because he's a Chloe guy, and she's a little too snatched for him. He's snatched. He's saying that she's gone too far in the gym. I just learned this word. Love it. She's gone too far, and Jason kind of wants the Chloe that would stop it in and out on the way home. You know what I mean? And he's lost her. Stop it in and out, get a hamburger, not a cheeseburger. Live a little, but within the rails. I did see her on my Discover page looking absolutely snatched, but more than that, she looks like she's on HGH. No, no, no. She looks like she's on Stilts. Her legs just look so long. It looks like she's on stilts. I just don't know what's going on over there. But overall, they're looking better than they've ever looked. And that's, you know, I think that shows a shift in our society. I feel like that does mean Trump will win again. And, you know, there's some other things that are probably it feels like it's predicting a future when they. go through their moon phases. It's like the groundhog when he shows his face, that type of thing. When Chloe becomes snatched enough, we have three more weeks of winter or whatever it is. Well, it means that it's interesting because I feel like it's a purposeful move to get NBA players to stop liking her. She's sabotaging her own vagina. Yeah, she's like, I can't do this anymore. These guys have been fucking assholes to me. I'm going to date. I need a machine gun Kelly. So kind of like when we go out to dinner, Chris, and you pour Diet Coke all over your food so you can't eat it anymore. Exactly. It's that level of sabotage. When I excuse myself to go to the restroom and I take the dessert with me to flush it down the toilet, it's the same kind of thing. It's a little different, but it's in the same family. Annie, what kind of non-traditional flushables have you flushed down the toilet? Well, one time after Coachella, the one time I went to Coachella,

I had like an eight ball of cocaine with me and I was like, fuck, I got to flush this. But I did it all instead. Okay. So I'm not an entire eight ball. I did like, I probably did like 10 key bumps and then sweated off all my makeup in the security line and had an absolute panic attack and called my mother saying. I'm a cocaine addict. What do we do? And she said, get on the plane and we'll talk later. We'll talk. You know, I've actually done cocaine on a plane. Would recommend it. Really? Yeah, it was an accidental like, oh. I have this. I better do it before I have to go through customs. Yes. I mean, I'm on the plane. I should put it in me, not on me. That's the famous flight, Jason, I'm sure you heard you talk about where the bros in the back were crushing up Xanax on the tray table and snorting it. No. Yeah, and I was like. Where are you going? Like Jamaica. And I was like, I thought I was. Jamaica or something. I was the lit guy. I'm like, yeah, I did a couple. And then I see these guys with like a. Like doing the whole thing. Using a 24-hour fitness card to break up fake Xanax. I'm like, what's up, grandpa? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That was the vibe. I never understood like getting high off pot to go to their work. I'm like, you could take a Dexedrine. and have a really... Fly through security. ...productive experience. Yeah. I know. I agree. There's nothing to be productive about other than go to your seat and sit in it. That's pretty marijuana-friendly for me. It feels like you're making moves, though, no matter what you do. You're making moves. See, Jason, that's why you don't... You're making moves, man. That's why you don't have a Grussler's mentality. That time on the plane, that time in the airport, that's time to be making deals and shit, bro. You can't just be there, zone the fuck out on your... No, you make the deals, and... then i'm in there i'm creating my content i'm writing the next great novel and it's up to you to get it sold chris i see what was the what did the woman say when she got on the flight and then she landed and she was canceled forever it's just that shit is so she said something so fucked up and every time i get on a plane i tweet something not not so fucked up but i think i i i think will this be the end

And then I get interested in the flight. I don't know why I have that. I was about to ask you. I was like, are you one of those people? Justine Sacco going to Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white. And she only had 200 followers. And then by the time the plane landed, it had gone viral. And she was. I mean, what the fuck is she thinking? It's so crazy. It's so bad. And I also. So crazy. Honestly, though, I can't. I have a rule where if it's a flight under three hours, I try not to get the Internet and just read. That's like a one. You're kidding. No, I try. And honestly, it's hard. Like, it's really hard for me. I'll pay whatever. I'll pay $50 to have the Internet. I've never bought the Internet unless it was an absolute emergency. I always go airplane mode. Yeah, I flew to Sicily, whatever, 14-hour flight or 12-hour flight. No internet. Because once you land, it's like pulling that slot machine handle on your inbox, your text, your DMs. Oh, brother. It hits you. To be fair, Andy, he doesn't have a job. So it's kind of like he doesn't have to. Yeah, and you guys have fucking jobs. Suck my dick. I have more jobs than the three. Out of the three of us, I'm the only one. If you add up all four of your fake jobs into one, it does equal half of a real job. I suppose you're right. That's true. My point is, Jason, if we're sitting next to each other on a flight and you don't get the Internet, it's because the only person could ever need to tell you something is me, and I'm physically next to you. You know what I mean? So it's not really necessary. I take the L for both of us and kind of pay for the Wi-Fi. Okay, so you are replying to all of my clients, and then you hand me the iPad, and I watch Sex and the City 2 and keep my mouth shut, and we're all happy. You get 10% of what I bring in, and it's all good. It's just like when we go to Houston's for dinner, and you start. getting ornery i just kind of put the sex in the city on the ipad sit on the table yeah yeah and i'm just kind of eating eating cheerios with my bare hands off the table and exactly any well last lastly we i don't know if this is a trigger for you or not i don't know if it's a question to ask somebody who is in the program but when we have certain guests on the show who you know swim in the similar circles that we do we we like to ask them uh top three prescription pills of all time

In your personal life. If you're comfortable answering that, fine. If you're not, no problem. Yeah, yeah. Dexedrine. Okay. Adderall. Vivalve. Okay, so you're going. You're the first person to do only uppers, actually. For our listeners at home, she just kind of did a shocker and then stuck her tongue out because she was pleased that all three of her pills were uppers. I think is that what was going on? It seems like that. It seems like that. Yeah, I do sort of look down upon the people who, I'm just like, why wouldn't you want to be on blast ruining your life? Okay, so you're like Sonic the Hedgehog, gotta go fast, and everyone else is a fool. They're wasting their time. It's just time goes by. I know that if you take an opiate downer, then... like time goes by cause you're like knocked out, but like time goes by and you're standing and people are like, Oh, she's fine. I get, I mean, not Chris and I can't get past him, but like you, you, you can, you can fast forward your life and still be doing it. Um, and, and that's why I got away with, uh, not being sober for so long was because I was technically fine, you know? Have you picked up any new cool habits? Are you sucking on gummy worms in the Pilates studio? I never liked ketchup before getting sober, and now I love it. Okay, when you say I eat ketchup, do you mean as an accessory to other foods, like you're dipping French fries in it, or you're just eating a cup of it like pudding or something? Yes, I eat it with other foods, and I just love it. I can't imagine my life without it. I've tried ketchup recently, and I just love it. So you're not just eating a bowl of it? No, no, no. I'm not doing the depression soup. But I do that and I have like a big, thick, loving nighttime ritual. A big, thick? It's just like it takes a while. Okay. You're talking about like a skincare routine, I'm assuming? No, no. Or is it something more complex? I make my tea.

I lie on my Yo-Yo mat. I call my sponsor. I, of course, go on Instagram, but that's not a part of the routine. I do my makeup routine. I mean, my skincare routine. It's like I give myself – I love the nighttime routine these days. You are looking – I will say you are looking youthful. Thank you. You know what I mean? So I think it is the – but I will – the reason Jason looks 65 years old is because he still parties, and that's the thing that you can't – there's nothing that makes you look better than not drinking. It's unbelievable. Quick question, though. Is someone getting on in one minute? No. Why? Can I ask you, do you party at all? Me? Yeah. No, no. I'm sober, like almost six years. No, no, but – Do you go out late? Like, do you go out and attend parties? Oh, yeah, yeah, I go out. Yeah, I mean, if there's money attached to it or a possible deal. He goes out, but he doesn't go out. It's rare that he'll be out past 11 p.m., I'll say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We will go out. Like, we went out to a party two nights ago at a club in Hollywood with an open bar. socializing and things like that so chris was technically out and about what i was actually annie i was talking to someone who is who is kind of looking to get sober and i was trying to appeal to them because i know them and i was i was trying to appeal to the things i know about them i was like you know what it gives you it gives me sometimes when necessary a superiority complex where i'm like oh you losers gotta do all this i can just stand here i don't need this and i think that clicked for him a little bit. He was like, damn, I've never thought about it that way. I'm like, yeah, bro. It's just like some more dark ego shit, but it's still better than the other way. Use your dark ego for a positive thing. You're like, I can get in my car and drive home whenever I want. I don't have to wait for my friend to call an Uber or whatever. There's a lot of ways you can feel superior. I don't know if I feel that way, but I see why you do feel that way. I explained it to someone who wanted to get sober that in the past...

I've been to, let's say, like 15 parties late. And two of them I had an amazing time at. And those two amazing times, I remember every second of it. And I felt... so good and you're a better dancer. You're a better dancer. Everyone is so sloppy and ugly and slutty looking when they're fucked up and I actually shine on the dance floor. You're hitting your marks. You're saying one, two, three, four. You're aware of your body more and how it moves and how you can control the choreos and fleek. I get it. I don't dance because men shouldn't dance, but I understand. I'm glad. Do you agree with that, Annie? Oh, yes, I do. What should men do then? Unless they can do like a swing swing, they should lean. I'm a big leaner. That's great to hear. I should sit at the table and smoke and then watch my life partner twirl around and have a fun time. You can make grotesque eye contact for a split second. Yeah. That's a good, that's a good option. That's a good option. And that, that split second will keep you high for five, 10 minutes, Jason. So you're not, you're not going to fall asleep. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good to know. All right, Annie, it was a pleasure having you on how long gone deeply overdue that the fans, the listeners, the readers are going to be so excited to, to have you. So we appreciate you. Thank you for having me and not on the. podcast i like if you guys are in new york please don't because it sounds like yucky and weird but i i like you guys if you're like around we are we are soon when are you coming the fifth i'm there the fifth through the 11th and jason's there similar i think you're not there the 16th are you jason no unfortunately not we got to come back to la for chris's 40th birthday party on 9 11 wait when's your mine i'm the 17th the 14th oh my god

Hey, I'm turning 30. Shiver me Timbers. Wow, I'm 10 years older than you. Thanks for rubbing that in. You look amazing. Oh, I didn't. You guys could be twins, Virgo twins. Okay, thank you guys. No, of course. Thank you. Thank you. We'll see you in New York. I'll holler at you. Okay, please. Bye. Bye. Happy birthday, Sam.